


but i'm a bad liar

by perfect-porcelain (tedddylupin)



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Gunshot Wounds, I really do a number on these guys, M/M, Mini fics, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Panic Attacks, Trust me it hurts me just as much as it hurts you, Whumptober, for like a second
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2020-11-09 11:02:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 26,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20852360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tedddylupin/pseuds/perfect-porcelain
Summary: Alex is a former FBI agent turned bodyguard, charged with keeping Henry safe. Sometimes things don't always go to plan though.





	1. shaky hands

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of Whumptober where each day I will be posting a short around 500 word chapter based on a prompt for each day. The prompt for the day will be the chapter title.

He could keep it together. 

He _needed_ to keep it together. 

“It’ll be alright sir, we’re going to get you to a better location.” Alex said over his shoulder as he pressed on the gas pedal hard. He could see Henry in the rear view mirror huddled below the windows that had bullet scars. Not exactly holes yet, but marks nonetheless.

“Just stay down, the metal doors will hold.” He said again as he hit the brakes and took a sharp right turn down a small alleyway. He hadn’t heard the sounds of bullets in a while and couldn’t see anything in the rearview mirror that was half shattered. 

He found a secluded place to park and quickly threw the car in reverse and backed them into the shadows. 

The only thing that could be heard was the ragged breath coming from Henry and the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears. 

“Who are they?” Henry whispered softly as Alex scooted down in his seat a bit lower so that his head at least would be protected. It was lucky that they hadn’t gotten shot at from the front otherwise he would be dead. 

“I’m not sure.” He said simply. “I’ve called for backup and the rest of the security team knows our location. They’ll be on their way shortly.” 

He could feel his hand shake a little bit and he clasped them together, hard, making his skin nearly white. 

He twisted in his seat to find Henry’s eyes. “Are you hurt?” He asked, thinking it was dumb of him not to ask it sooner. He could see a bit of blood on Henry’s cheek but nothing else seeping through his white shirt, at least in the front.

Henry shook his head. “Just small cuts from the glass.” 

Alex let out a breath. He looked forward once more and saw the car that had been chasing them slowly inch down the alleyway. He heard the sharp intake of breath from Henry. “They can’t see us.” Alex whispered. 

Henry’s hand scrambled for his and Alex could see that he wasn’t the only one whose hands were shaking. He clasped the man’s hands with some force. Their eyes locked and Alex nodded to him.

“I won’t let them hurt you.” He whispered again and Henry nodded quickly, too many times to count. 

The car went by them and they both let out a breath of air.

“See? We’ll be fine. Now we just have to wait.”

They didn’t let each other’s hand go until they saw Shaan’s vehicle with Amy in the front seat.

Henry was ushered into the other car while Alex stayed behind, talking with the rest of the police force.

They locked eyes again and Henry’s gaze lingered on him for longer than was necessary but with another nod they parted and Alex was left with his job.

His hands were still shaking from the event. 

He wiped them on his pants leg before falling back into his security mode. 

He had to keep it together.

Henry was counting on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! I'm going to do my very best to post something every single day. Some may be shorter than others and some may be much longer than others depending on my muse for the specific prompt. Lord help me I'm gonna make this a thing and stick to it looool. (Also this first chapter is def based off a scene in the Bodyguard don't @ me)
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	2. explosion

“Is there a particular reason why they’re targeting me?” Henry asked the room. His hands were out to his side as he leaned against the table, the only one standing. 

“We think it’s because of your political views sir.” Amy said in a clear voice. 

“Because I want reform? _That’s_ the reason why I was shot at?” Henry narrowed his eyes. 

“We have reason to believe they won’t stop at the shooting. We need to move you to a safer place until we get confirmation you aren’t a target.” Alex spoke up and he felt Henry’s steady gaze on him, rooting him to the spot.

“I have a vote today. I can’t leave without casting it.” 

“But sir-” Alex started and Henry stood up straight. 

“No, we’re going.”

And with that he turned and moved toward the exit. Alex looked at Amy who shook her head and gestured for him to follow Henry. Alex stood quickly and made his way into Henry’s car. It was a short trip to Parliament for Henry to vote. 

“You aren’t allowed inside.” Henry held out a hand to stop him.

“With all due respect sir, I’m coming inside. After the day you’ve had I’m coming.” He said.

“I know you’re American but this isn’t how it’s done.” Henry narrowed his eyes.

“It is today.” He gazed back at him with the same amount of strength. Henry was silent but then nodded.

“Stay off the floor.” Henry warned and Alex nodded, taking a position next to a pilar. He watched the proceedings, especially when Henry stood up to speak his piece before voting. All was well until he got static over his radio that sounded like ‘bomb’. He rushed forward without thinking, only seeing Henry until he was thrown sideways and backwards as an explosion went off. 

He could only hear the ringing in his ears but he knew he was screaming Henry’s name. The air was thick with dust as he got unsteadily to his feet as he surged ahead to where he had last seen Henry standing. 

Henry was on his back and coughing. A good sign. He was at least alive.

“Come on sir, we need to get you out of here.” He said, voice sounding muffled to his ears. He hooked an arm around Henry and pulled him to his feet. Henry leaned against him heavily as he walked the two of them towards the sudden hole in the wall. 

“Going out the west entrance.” He said quickly into his radio. Henry was limping.

He managed to maneuver them around the rubble, security teams already picking up stragglers but he could hear screaming.

“We need to help them.” Henry struggled against Alex’s firm grip.

“We need to leave. I knew I shouldn’t have let you come here. It was too dangerous.” He seethed. He didn’t let Henry go even when the man stumbled heavily against a piece of shattered marble. 

Amy and Shaan were waiting for them and he got Henry into the back. He had barely had enough time to close the door before Shaan was peeling out. Alex finally could get a good look at Henry.

There was blood on his face, his wounds from the glass reopening and it looked like more scratches had occurred.

“Are you hurt badly?” He asked, hands roaming over Henry’s body. The man hissed when he got to his ankle. Alex tested it gently and found Henry could still move it. “A sprain.” He confirmed, his medical training coming back to him. “Anything else?”

Henry shook his head, biting his lip. 

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe, you’re alive. We’re going to be fine.” He gripped Henry’s shoulder.

“But all the others-” 

“We’re worrying about you right now. There’s nothing you could have done for them. Not with that sprain.” He said, looking at Henry’s ankle pointedly. 

Henry nodded and looked away. Alex shifted back into his seat.

“I caused this.” Henry said softly.

“No, the terrorist caused this. You were doing your job. The one the people elected you to do. It’s not your fault.” 

Henry nodded again as he looked down at his hands. 

Alex reached out and placed a hand on Henry’s knee. Henry looked up. “You’re safe.” He said.

“Thanks to you.”

“Just doing my job. Just like you were doing yours.” He said again and Henry gave him a weak half smile before it faltered and fell. “You’re safe.” He whispered one more time.

Henry didn’t look at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooo SHIT things getting good....hopefully idk we still got 29 more days of the angst so like buckle in
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	3. delirium

“This is fucking insane.” Henry repeated over and over as he paced the room too many times for Alex to count.

“You’ll tire yourself out if you don’t stop.” Alex said calmly as he watched Henry move back and forth. “You haven’t eaten since we got here and that was two days ago.” Henry had gone into a daze for a while before intermittently moving into a panic mode before going back to the daze. It was exhausting to watch.

“Well I haven’t exactly been in the eating mood _Alex_.” Henry snapped.

Alex rose from the couch of the safe house. “Amy’s on duty, come to her if you have questions.”

Henry glared at Alex before he began his pacing once more.

Alex could hardly sleep last night and he had a feeling this night would only be worse. They hadn’t heard from anyone for 12 hours and he had been staying with Henry full time while Shaan and Amy had taken shifts. They had tried to get him to leave but he refused. 

He fell into bed after stripping down to his boxers and found himself asleep before his head even hit the pillow. It was only Amy shaking him awake that he realized what had happened.

“Wha? What’s wrong?” He asked sleepily, glancing at the clock. It was 3 in the morning.

“I called for a doctor but Henry’s asking for you.” Amy said and any dregs of sleep instantly vanished from Alex’s system. He sat upright in a flash, ignoring the way his head spun a little and he stumbled out from under the tangled sheets. 

“Henry?” He called out into the darkened room.

“Alex?” The voice was weak and scratchy. He came forward and knelt next to the bed. He could see the paleness of Henry’s face and the sweat beading on his forehead.

“What the hell man? I leave you for four hours and you get sick on me?” He said with an abnormally high pitched voice, trying to stay calm.

“Alex is that you?” Henry asked again and then he shuddered, burrowing under the blankets. Alex’s head whipped towards Amy.

“What the fuck happened?” He hissed.

“He refused food and water and was continuing to pace until he just collapsed. I think it was the physical and mental exhaustion. I got him to the bed but he keeps blabbering on about you. Definitely a fever.” Amy said from the doorway. “The doctor should be here in 20.” 

Alex turned back to Henry who placed a hot, sweaty hand on his cheek. “Henry?”

“You look just like him.” Henry’s voice took on a dreamy quality. “I keep saying to myself that I need to talk to him about how beautiful he is but something always gets in the way.” A chuckle that made Alex’s brow furrow. “He’s my bodyguard though. That would cause quite a stir wouldn’t it?”

“I’ll go get you a cold washcloth.” Alex rose from the bed but stopped when Henry’s hand wrapped around his forearm.

“Don’t go. I don’t want to be alone.” Henry pleaded. Alex looked to Amy in the doorway and she nodded, moving towards the hallway bathroom. He knelt back down next to the man he was charged to protect.

“It’ll be alright Henry. We’ll get you better soon.” He murmured and Henry closed his eyes and nodded. Alex studied the near statuesque profile. Strong jaw, straight Grecian nose, high cheekbones. He never got to see Henry like this but it hurt him that it was only because Henry was delirious with fever. 

“Do you think I should say something to him? He’s saved my life more times than he even knows.” Henry said almost too softly for him to hear.

“I think he knows.” He said after a moment but Henry’s breath had deepened and he was sure that the man hadn’t heard. He brushed Henry’s hair back gently and a little smile curled onto his face.

“He loves you, you know that?” Amy said as she handed him the cold washcloth.

“No he doesn’t.” Alex muttered as he gently patted Henry’s brow. “He’s got a crazy high fever and is speaking nonsense. He didn’t even recognize me.” 

Amy was silent but he didn’t miss the look she gave him. He ignored it. 

Just as he ignored the fact that he felt panic grip his heart when he had heard Henry was sick.

It was only because Henry was his job.

He would keep telling himself that until he believed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boy why the fuck you lyinnnnnn you always lyin mmmmmm oh my god
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	4. human shield

It took two days to bring Henry back to health. A few bags of saline later he was good as new and back to worrying about his life. A part of him wanted to stay in that fever induced haze. He was pretty sure Alex had been in his dreams but it felt like a distance memory, something his mind had come up to cope with the reality of the mess he was in now. 

“What are we going to do? I have another vote in a week and if I miss it who knows what chaos could ensue. I’m the party leader, they need me.” Henry spat at his security team.

“If they can’t vote without you leading them than your entire country is fucked up.” Alex muttered and he set his gaze on him with blazing fire in them. Alex straightened. “All I’m saying is that you can miss a couple of votes while we figure out who’s behind these attacks.”

“But you hadn’t been finding out. Instead I’ve been trapped inside this house, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can’t live like this.” He hissed and Amy stepped forward.

“We think the attacks are connected to a white supremacy terrorist group. There have been whispers of them planning more attacks towards liberals, especially those in high positions. You would be in danger if you went in public.” Amy said calmly. Henry looked back at Alex who was leaning against the table with his arms crossed. He stared Henry down and he looked away.

“So I’m just going to sit here and take it?”

“If you want to live, yes.” Alex said calmly. 

He shot Alex a dirty look before he turned to Shaan. “What do you think?” Shaan and him had been together since the beginning when he was hiring a bodyguard during his first election. That had been at least 5 years ago. 

“I agree with what they’re saying. It’s too dangerous to attempt anything that public again, especially after the attack at Parliament.” Shaan said in his easy tone and Henry let out a sigh and rubbed his temples. 

“Alright fine let’s-” He started but then all three of his team stood straight up. 

“Get behind me.” Alex said quickly and his eyes widened.

“What?” He felt fear creep in.

“Get behind me.” Alex snapped and Henry shifted his body so that Alex was in front of him. They were all facing the door.

“What’s going on?” He whispered and hated the way he sounded.

“Amy.” Alex said and Amy nodded as she moved towards the door. All three had their guns unholstered. “We’re moving.” He said over his shoulder and Henry nodded. Shaan had come up behind him while Amy opened the door. No one was there but the tension was in the air. 

“Let’s move.” Alex whispered. “We’re going to the car. This house is compromised.” 

“Shit.” Henry said under his breath and all the sudden his words from earlier whispered out of his head. This made him remember just how life or death this truly was. 

The walk to the car was troubling at best and Henry kept jumping at the smallest of noises. Shaan and Alex switched places as Henry got into the bulletproof vehicle. Alex was acting as a shield before he too slipped inside. 

“Get us out of here Amy.” Alex said. “Henry get your head down. I’ll cover you.” 

Henry did as he was told and kept his head away from the glass. Alex blanketed him with his body. The air was stifling from Alex’s hot breath but he didn’t dare say anything. Only his heartbeat and the sound of the road were breaking the silence. 

“Where are we going?” Henry whispered after a moment. 

“Somewhere safe. You’re safe.” Alex said and Henry was transported back to the fear he had felt when he had first been shot at, Alex making sure they weren’t killed. As much as he wanted to rebel against this, Alex had done nothing but keep him safe. 

He nodded and let himself relax into the cushions with Alex’s comforting weight over him, reminding him of a past memory or a dream perhaps. He wasn’t sure which. All he knew was that he would at least be protected as long as Alex was around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a filler but alas sometimes we shall have some of those. it'll get even better in the coming chapters don't you worry
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	5. gunpoint

“Just play it cool okay? We’ve got disguises. We’ll be fine.” Alex said in a low voice to Henry as they walked down the street. 

“You keep saying that. I think you’re trying to convince yourself more than me.” Henry said with a smirk. Alex knew Henry was just glad to get out of the house. It had been another week in the new safe house and Alex could tell that he was getting antsy with being inside all day. He had finally decided that he was going to break Henry out. He had his gun, it would be fine. 

“Whatever, just do your shopping and let’s get back.” Alex sighed. His eyes were constantly moving back and forth across the street, checking inside windows and on rooftops. 

“You guys never get the right stuff for me.” Henry had said when he was pleading to Alex to try and convince him to let him out, to just go down the street to the corner market. Alex of course was powerless to say no. It was the middle of the day on a Saturday. The cover of everyone out shopping would hinder any sort of chaos that would ensue. 

So here they were, out shopping like a couple of roommates or friends. Definitely not a bodyguard and his boss. 

Alex guarded Henry as he perused the shop, adding things to his basket. 

“Do you think lavender or rose for the air freshener?” Henry asked absentmindedly.

“Why do you need an air freshener?”

“Because the house reeks and if I have to stay in there cooped up all the time at least it’s going to smell nice.” Henry said with a shrug and Alex sighed.

“Lavender. Rose smells like old lady.” 

“Hmm, you’re right. Oh wait what about orange blossom? That could be nice.” Henry tapped his chin thoughtfully.

“Just fucking pick-” Alex started but then stopped mid sentence when he heard a slight scream at the front of the store. His body moved before his mind did and he shoved Henry behind him. 

“What are you-” Henry said but then stopped when Alex shushed him. 

A man had a gun pointed at the cashier and was urging her to take out the cash from the till. Alex shoved Henry down to the ground as he crawled forward, taking out his gun as he did. He was about to pop up when he heard something muffled behind him. He quickly turned on the balls of his toes and saw Henry with a hand over his mouth and a panicked look in his eyes.

“I don’t think so.” The man who had a gun to Henry’s head shook his head when Alex started to move his gun up. The man shoved the muzzle of his gun even harder against Henry’s head and Henry jerked back in a panic. “Why do you push that gun towards my partner up there.” The man jerked his chin towards yet another man.

Alex growled but did so after a moment. He gritted his teeth, fingers itching to do something but he couldn’t. Not with Henry so vulnerable. 

“Hey wait...isn’t that Henry Fox?” The guy who picked up Alex’s gun said with a tilt of his head. “Oh the boss will love this.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Alex seethed and the guy holding Henry just laughed. 

“Do you really think you have the power to do anything right now?”

Alex’s knuckles were white from how tight he was squeezing them. “Fuck you.” 

“Powerful words for someone who gave up his charge. Get up.” The guy ushed Henry to his feet. Henry did it with some difficulty.

“Alex don’t-” Henry managed to get out when the man’s hand slipped from his mouth. Whatever he said next was muffled. 

“Alex huh?” The leading man’s mouth curled into a cold smile. “We can work with that.” 

Henry’s eyes widened and Alex shook his head, not even bothering to look at the men, only having eyes for Henry. 

“It’ll be fine.” He said and the men laughed.

“In your dreams perhaps.” One of the men shoved Alex with his foot and he lost his balance.

He had taken his eyes off Henry for only a second and this had happened. He would never forgive himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo things are heating up!!! It's gonna be intense from here on out I believe (idk I'm mostly winging this but I've got a basic idea of where I want the story to go). Hope you enjoy!
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	6. dragged away

“Let’s go.” The one of the men growled. 

“Take this one too.” The leader shoved Alex once more, kicking him square in the jaw and he let out a noise of pain, attempting to quickly get his knees under him once more but the shooting sparks of pain made him slow. “He’s seen our faces.”

The man who had gotten the money from the till swung the bag onto his back and then hauled Alex up along with the leader. He struggled against the restraints of their bodies and the ziptie they wrapped around his hands, making him hiss from the tightness of it.

“I wouldn’t do that princess.” The leader chuckled into his ear. His hot breath made Alex flinch away. “Unless you want Henry over here to get shot. My boy knows how to shoot someone without much blood loss but oh it’ll hurt.”

Alex’s eyes flashed and he growled again, turning his head just slightly to spit in the leader’s face. The man let out a disgusted noise and punched him hard in the gut. Alex doubled over with a groan. He heard muffled sounds coming from Henry and he coughed as he managed to straighten back up, still hunched a little as he saw black dots swimming at the edges of his vision.

Before he could do anything else he was being dragged forward, body slumping a little between the two that were carrying him after another punch to the gut. He just managed to bring his head up as he tried desperately to blink away the blackness that was starting to take over.

He had been through worse. Hell, this was nothing compared to the training he had gone through. It had just been a while since he had to deal with this much pain in such a short period of time. He just needed to push it away. Henry needed him to think up a solution. 

Alex’s eyes widened when he saw the nondescript van and he began to struggle, digging his feet into the concrete.

“No, no, no.” He tried to stop the forward motion but the two men were stronger and managed to drag him towards the van door, throwing him inside. He bounced against the hard metal bottom with a groan, slamming up into the opposite door.

He felt another body land next to him with a groan and he scrambled up as awkward as it was with his arms bound behind him. “Henry?” He asked, scooting closer. 

Henry sat up with another groan. His arms weren’t bound. That was good. Alex could work with that. “Alex?”

“You okay?” He whispered, eyes roaming over Henry’s body. He didn’t see any visible marks other than the hand print forming on his bicep. 

“Yeah I’m...I’m okay.” Henry nodded.

“Aw look they’re lovers how cute.” The leader deadpanned and Alex snarled, attempting to lunge at the man who now slammed the van door shut. Instead of making his mark, Alex was punched in the jaw and he fell back against the floor, balance thrown off without the use of his arms. “Don’t try it sweetheart.” The man grinned and kicked Henry for good measure, making Henry fall next to Alex. 

“Please don’t.” Henry whispered to him as they lay on the floor together. Henry reached forward to gingerly feel along his jaw and Alex hissed, squinting his eyes shut from the pain.

The leader stepped over them and yanked Henry’s arms back and zip tied them as well. Alex gritted his teeth for a moment before having to release them from the pain shooting up his jaw when he heard Henry’s sudden yelp of pain at the roughness of it all.

“Settle in boys. We’ve got a long way to go.” The leader grinned and urged the driver to start. 

Alex looked at Henry who looked back at him and he gave him a slow nod. He could see the panic and pain in the man’s eyes and he wanted to kill every single one who had done this to him. Instead Henry just nodded back. He was going to figure out a way out of this. He had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT HEATING UP OOOOOO and we're not even a week in. God bless
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	7. isolation

They had put a blind fold over him shortly after getting into the car. He could still hear everything and still feel when the car was turning but after a while it got a little confused in his head. He knew they were taking him and Henry out of London but he didn’t know England well enough to know where. It didn’t help that the pain in his jaw and his stomach was starting to bloom across his body.

He still felt Henry though. Henry had managed to sit up next to him even in the zip tie handcuffs. The warmth from his body against his own was enough to ground him to this moment, to keep him from not completely losing himself to the anger.

Alex was not an angry person in normal circumstances. He usually was able to keep his cool and think five steps ahead. This group of men was not the smartest, he knew that, but they had hurt Henry and he couldn’t stand for that. 

He reached out with his hands and attempted to find something to help him saw off the zip ties but with the blind fold on and the lack of things just rolling on the floor it was pointless. He wouldn’t give up though. It was his duty to protect Henry at all costs. 

He was about to find Henry’s hands but then he felt the car stop and he was being hauled out. He stumbled and fell, balance out of whack and without his eyes he had no way of knowing where he was. He felt the gravel dig into his face. He took a moment to listen to his surroundings. No sounds of cars or city life. The gravel could had told him that.

Before he could move he was being hauled up to his feet once more. He let out a gasp of pain as his shoulder jerked in a way it shouldn’t be able to move but it wasn’t dislocated. He knew what sort of pain that felt like. 

“Get moving.” The gruff voice of the leader pushed him forward and he stumbled again but managed to stay upright. Where was Henry? The blind fold had slipped off a little and he could see that it was still daytime but he couldn’t see anything else. He refused to walk any faster than what was allowed. He kept getting pushed forward and righting himself as he went. He nearly fell again when he encountered stairs. 

He managed to stay on his feet as he walked into the house. The floor creaked under his weight. An older house. It smelled like it too. Perhaps a farmhouse? He couldn’t be certain but the lack of noise outside would make sense. 

Before he could attempt to get anything else from his surroundings he was being shoved forward again and this time he was falling down. He found the first few stairs down to what could only be a basement before he was slipping on the old wood and tripping. 

“Fuck.” He groaned out at the bottom.

“How clumsy of you.” The leader snarled and Alex could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Where’s Henry?” He spat out, a metallic tang in his mouth. 

“Don’t worry about him. He’s the one we care about. You on the other hand are expendable.” He was being brought to his feet and then sat down in an old rickety chair. 

Alex knew he was expendable. No one would care about losing him. He was just a bodyguard. Henry was the real target. He just had to make these idiots believe that he was just as valuable.

“He won’t do anything you say if you kill me.” He said as he felt his feet getting tied to the chair. 

“We don’t need him to do anything. We just need the money.” 

Ransom. Of course. Henry came from a wealthy family and his political influence was gigantic. People would pay money for him.

“You kill me, he’ll do something far worse to himself.” 

“You two lovers then?” The hot breath curled into his ear and he flinched away with disgust. “My my how interesting. I wonder how the public would take that.” 

He winced as he felt the ties around his feet tighten to the point of pain. “I doubt you would get as much money then if you told. Better keep it a secret.” He said, grasping at straws. “Think of the blackmail money. No one would believe it though if you killed me. What use is a dead man for blackmail?”

Alex could hear himself and he was a bit disgusted with it. Using false information to keep Henry and himself alive, but he knew that without him Henry would never make it out of this place. 

“Shut up.” The man hissed and Alex felt his head jerk back as a punch made his ears ring. He coughed out the blood. He flinched when he felt something cover his ears and suddenly he was without his hearing and his sight. 

Complete isolation.

He felt the headphones lift only for a moment. Only for the leader to laugh and say “Don’t go crazy now.” 

And then he was alone and tied up and bloody and he had no idea where Henry was. The only thing he could do was let his mind run through all the ways he could attempt to get out of here. Whatever he did he had to keep trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hot damn poor Alex he's gonna need to clean himself up soon the poor guy. He's got blood everywhere
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	8. stab wound

He couldn’t be sure how long he was alone. Everything was muffled and as much as he struggled against the chair he couldn’t make it budge. He couldn’t even make it fall over as much as he wanted to. It was like it was bolted down. 

Alex tried screaming a few times but that only got him punched again, to a point that he was a little afraid of internal bleeding. 

The only thoughts running through his head were of Henry and how to get them out of the place. At this point he wasn’t even worried about himself making it out alive, he just wanted Henry to make it out in one piece. 

Suddenly his hearing was returned and everything was loud just like the light that was streaming into his face. He squeezed his eyes shut at it.

“Wakey wakey.” The leader grinned and Alex managed to slowly adjust to having things that were black spots in his vision. “We felt a little bad leaving you here all by your lonesome so we found you a friend.” The man’s breath was on the back of his neck and his upper lip curled as he attempted to lean away. The man grabbed his head and forced him still as the basement door opened once more and Henry was being led down the stairs but something was wrong. He seemed loopy and out of it and Alex strained against the restraints.

“Henry!” He croaked out and Henry managed to bring his head up and Alex was shocked at the state of his expression. A black eye and a split lip marred his perfect face and Alex continued to fight but it was no use. 

One of the men pushed Henry forward and Henry stumbled before sagging to the ground against a pole that the leader forced him up against.

“Now, consider this a reward for being good. If you don’t try anything we’ll keep you two together. If you do try anything Alex here will pay for it double.” The leader crouched down in front of Henry who narrowed his eyes and looked like he was about to swing but the leader just smiled and with a quick motion and a flash of metal he jabbed what looked like a knife into Henry’s shoulder and left it there, pinning him to the wall.

Henry screamed.

Alex heard himself yell out Henry’s name but it was a side note.

The leader chuckled. “Don’t worry you won’t die. It’ll just sting.” And with that he left Henry and Alex alone.

“Henry?” He asked hesitantly. He had heard Henry’s pain. “Talk to me. Please.” His tone took on an edge of desperation.

“Hey.” Henry whispered out hoarsely. “You look like shit.”

Alex couldn’t stop the little laugh of deliriousness. “Yeah well you’ve got a knife in your shoulder so who’s doing better here?” He couldn’t stop cracking a joke but his voice was strained. “Try not to move it okay? We don’t have anything to stop the bleeding and if you pull it out everything will come out with it.”

Henry’s head fell back as he closed his eyes and nodded. Alex could see Henry’s Adam’s apple move as he swallowed hard. 

“Talk to me. What did you learn? What did you see up there? Did they blind fold you?” He threw questions at Henry to keep his mind off the pain but he knew it was flimsy at best.

“No um-” Henry winced before letting out a breath. “They didn’t blind fold me. We’re in the middle of a farm. Nothing I could see from the windows. There’s only four guys here but they seem to take shifts. I’ve seen a total of seven different guys but only four stay here all the time. They’re trying to get ransom money but I don’t think they know what they’re doing.” Henry spoke quickly and Alex nodded.

“Okay, yes that’s good. I don’t think these are the same guys who shot at the car.” Alex thought out loud and Henry shook his head. Alex looked up when he heard a gasp of pain.

“It hurts Alex.” Henry whimpered and Alex bit his lip.

“I know. I know it does. Tell me something else you saw. Anything else.” 

“I think we’re near Southampton. I can’t be sure where though. Their accents make me think the south.”

“Good, that’s good Hen.” Alex nodded. “Do you think you can come closer to me? I’ll take a look at the wound.” 

Henry winced again before he let out a slow breath and nodded. He scooted forward, trying not to move his arm at all but each time he did just a little bit he had to stop and bite his lip. Eventually he got close enough for Alex to see. It wasn’t too deep. The knife’s blade was short. “Okay. It doesn’t look too bad but you’re going to need to keep it in until we can get some sort of needle and thread or glue to keep the wound closed.”

Henry nodded silently once more. 

“Are we going to die here Alex?” Henry asked after a moment as he leaned against Alex’s chair. He felt Henry’s body heat seep into his skin as he felt Henry’s weight against his legs.

“No. _No_ we are not going to die here.” He said in a firm voice and Henry nodded again. He gritted his teeth and looked around the room. His eyes landed on the shelf that held some extra towels. Fuck it. “Henry go get some towels.” He pointed with his head towards the shelf and Henry frowned at him. 

“But I thought you said-”

“Nevermind what I said. That was best case scenario. We are definitely not in best case scenario right now. Go get those towels.”

Henry groaned as he got to his feet and stumbled towards the shelf. He took off a towel and looked back at Alex expectantly.

“Okay when I say to, I want you to take out the knife. It’s gonna hurt really bad but as soon as you get it out I want you to hold that towel tight against your shoulder and then you’re going to have to use that knife to untie me. You understand? Put another towel in your mouth to stop the scream.” He said and he could see the dizziness in Henry’s eyes but Henry nodded once again. “Alright. On the count of three. One, two, three.” He counted down.

Henry let out a muffled scream as he yanked out the knife and quickly pressed the towel to his shoulder. He nearly fell into the shelf at the feeling and instead doubled over.

“The knife Henry. Bring the knife and untie me.” Alex urged. He knew the muffled scream was still loud and they wouldn’t have much time. Henry took another moment and Alex could hear the heavy breaths. Henry groaned again as he stood up and walked unsteadily over to him and with a one handed flick of the bloody knife Alex’s right hand was free. He quickly grabbed the knife from Henry and undid his left hand and then his legs.

“You’re doing great Henry.” He said as he did so and tried to stand up only for his legs to stiffen and nearly give out on him. “Fuck.” he gritted out before he shook them a little. 

It took a loud sound to get Alex to move his attention back to Henry and he found the man having fallen back and slumped against a pillar of the basement. He rushed forward and his hands were pushing Henry’s hand away from the quickly reddening towel. 

“Fuck fuck fuck. Come on we gotta move.” He said and he pushed Henry forward towards the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahaha i love pain don't you?
> 
> follow me on tumblr:[tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	9. unconscious

Alex was used to taking on people bigger than him. He knew he wasn’t the tallest bodyguard around but he had learned how to compensate for his size. He knew how to take down people bigger and stronger than him. There was a reason that Henry had chosen him out of a line up. He was scrappy and stubborn as hell.

He was going to need it now.

Henry managed to follow behind him up the stairs of the basement while Alex held the knife in his hand. He slowly opened the door. Of course these idiots would leave the door unlocked. They assumed that Henry wouldn’t have the balls to try it, but Alex knew better. He turned towards Henry and held up a finger for him to be silent and in the low light he saw Henry nod with pain glazed eyes. 

Without much of a sound he managed to open the door and silently move from room to room. There was only two people on duty and there was a car in the driveway. He could work with that. 

He came up behind the first man who was watching trashy reality TV. Alex grabbed a heavy decorative cat from a shelf and he steeled himself. It would make a lot of noise he knew and once he did it he would have only a few moments to get ready to take on the next guy. He could feel that a few of his ribs were broken or at least cracked but he was running on pure adrenaline and spite. 

Alex raised the heavy metal cat over his head and came down on the man’s head hard. A single shout and then a slump. 

“Reggie?” The other man called out and Alex moved quickly but silently to the corner with the metal cat. The man saw who could only be Reggie slumped over on the couch and he instantly went to his gun in the back of his jeans. Alex was too quick and hit this man with the cat figurine. The man let out a surprised sound and stumbled back. Alex rushed forward and stabbed him in the side. The man gasped.

“That’s for messing up my face.” Alex hissed as he twisted the knife and the man let out a shout of pain. Alex wrenched out the knife and then grabbed the man’s gun. He hit the man over the head with it and another slump. He patted the man down and found a phone and car keys. He took both as he came back to Henry.

“Fuck, Henry!” He said as he found Henry passed out on the floor near the top of the stairs down to the basement. “Shit shit shit.” He chanted to himself as he attempted to force Henry up. He got Henry’s arm around his shoulder and he lifted the heavy limp body. It took too much time to get them both to the car but he managed. The entire time all he could hear was the panic pounding in his ears. He didn’t know how long those two idiots would be out and he wanted to get a head start. 

He got Henry in the back and jumped into the front seat, starting the car and peeling out. He got the phone unlocked (who used 1234 as their passcode?) and they were headed towards the nearest hospital. Henry had been right. They were in the south and the closest major town was Brighton. 

The entire drive Alex’s knuckles were stark white and he kept looking back at Henry in the rear view mirror. He could see where his shoulder was starting to stain the fabric of the car and he gritted his teeth, urging the shitty car to drive faster. 

Finally, _finally_ he pulled into the hospital and jumped out of the car, running inside for help. The nurses looked startled but the orderlies were on it and got Henry onto a stretcher. He watched with slight panic as they rushed him towards the double doors that clearly said “no entry”. He started to stumble after him when a nurse came in front of him.

“He’s going to be okay now.” A nurse touched his shoulder and he flinched away. She took her hand back and he relaxed. “You look like you need some help too. Can I bring you to a room?” 

Alex felt the adrenaline coming down and he was bone tired and aching and everything felt like tiny sparks of pain when he moved. He let out a breath and frowned as he saw black spots start to enter his vision. 

That was odd. It was still daylight. Why was everything turning to night?

“Sir?” The nurse touched him with a firmer grip and he let out a sound of pain. “We need help over here!” 

“I’ll be...fine.” He slurred and then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do one when you can do two am I right? loooool
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	10. shackled

Alex hated waking up inside a hospital. In his line of work even before becoming a bodyguard for a British politician, it was dangerous and that usually meant at least three hospital visits a year. 

Alex especially did not like waking up in a hospital with restraints.

He stirred awake and found himself staring up at the square tiles of the ceiling and hearing beeps constantly around him. 

He groaned and attempted to move his hand to rub the sleep out of his eyes when he felt a tug against his wrist. Frowning, he looked down and saw the blue restraints keeping him still. He managed to shift up in his bed a little though not by much. 

“Ah, you’re awake.” A deep voice interrupted his thought process. His mind was foggy from the drugs coursing through his system. He turned towards the voice and saw his boss staring back at him. Richards. He fought to keep his face neutral.

“Care to answer why I’m in restraints?” He said in a cool voice though there was no hiding the slight strain to it.

“The nurses thought you might be a danger to yourself. I’ve been told you tried to get out of bed three times.” Richards shrugged.

He didn’t remember that but he already knew that it wouldn’t be a far stretch. Instead of answering he just nodded. 

“And Henry?”

“Henry’s fine. He was discharged yesterday.” Richards said as he looked at his phone for a moment. Alex felt a surge of fear course through him. He had been with Henry so long that being away from him felt like losing a limb.

“Why am I still here?” 

“Internal bleeding I believe. You’re fine now of course, but while I have you here I have some questions.” Richards was so flippant about his well being that it was almost a relief. He hated people doting on him though internal bleeding sounded serious. He was alive though, there was no denying that when he could feel the soft foam tight around his wrists and ankles.

“It’s not like I’m going anywhere.” He muttered and resigned himself to look up at the ceiling.

“About these men that Henry was telling us about-” Richards started.

“I didn’t know them or recognize the place where we were being held. They didn’t strike me as professionals but they had someone over them that knew what they were doing. Otherwise I would have gotten both of us out of there sooner.” He knew these questions were coming.

“There had been speculation that _you_ were the one in charge.” Richards finally looked up from his phone and Alex’s gaze shot to his.

“What.” He seethed, the word practically a punch to the air. “Are you kidding me with that bullshit? Why would I allow myself to get tied up for who knows how long and then proceed to get myself beat up only to escape? It doesn’t make sense.”

Richards leaned forward. “You were the only one with Henry that time. We don’t trust his account because he’s been traumatized but you’ve been trained for this. I’m to believe you let yourself get captured by only four men?”

Alex’s jaw clenched. “They had guns. Do you really expect me to put Henry in danger?”

“And where was your gun? Why did you let them take it? Why did you leave Henry alone?”

“There was a robbery. I was attempting to stop it.” 

“I’m to believe that you left your charge alone to stop a menial food market robbery?” Richards scoffed. 

Alex growled and for a moment forgot he was restrained and pulled against them. 

Richards stood and gave him a cold smile. “You know it’s nice having such a large influence of power. If I was to say...dispose of someone it wouldn’t be all that hard.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed.

“Sometimes though things get in the way. I think it would be so sad if you got Henry out of that horrific experience only for him to get hurt in some other way. Makes you wonder if you’re even suitable to the job.” Richards placed his phone in his pocket. “Ah well, good thing you’re replaceable. Henry on the other hand…” Richards trailed off.

“Are you threatening me?” Alex hissed.

Richards looked back at him with a slight look of surprise. “Oh Alex, was that not clear?” He leaned forward. “I’m taking you off Henry. You come near him again I’ll have you personally detained.” 

And with that Richards straightened and gave him a warm nod before turning to go.

Alex was left staring up at the ceiling, mind whirling as he strained against the stupid restraints. He knew Henry was in danger. He had to get out of here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm three days behind but lucky for you, you get three chapters today (hopefully loool I'm gonna do my best to catch up but I'll be posting them as soon as I finish writing them)
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	11. "don't move"

Henry hadn’t been allowed to see Alex at the hospital. Something about him needing to be isolated. He tried to push against that rule but everyone had been strictly against him walking into that room so he didn’t get to see him before being discharged. 

Shaan and Amy had taken him back to his house in London. The trip was long and painful, wincing at every jolt of the car. He was only a lot of pain medication but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel it. 

For an entire week he had been told to stay at his house. Some of the members of Parliament came to discuss the bills that were upcoming but he knew they were mostly their to either gawk at him or pay their respects. 

He didn’t want either.

He kept finding himself looking for Alex over his shoulder. He kept wanting to find Alex to show him a funny tweet. He kept wishing that Alex was there when the nightmares started.

Everytime he was disappointed.

“Mr. Fox?” Amy interrupted him in his office with a light knock on the door. He looked up. “I just wanted to let you know that Alex has been discharged.”

Henry froze and made himself give a wooden nod. “Thank you Amy.”

It had been a slap to the face when Richards had said Alex was off his detail. When he asked for a reason, the only one given was that he wouldn’t be fit for duty. He had tried to reason with the head of the police but to no avail. That didn’t mean he couldn’t see Alex in a more informal setting though. He intended to do just that once he knew that Alex was on his feet.

He almost didn’t hear the door opening to his bedroom and it was only when it shut did he look up.

“Alex?”

Alex stood in the doorway and held his finger to his lips. 

“What are you-” He started and then Alex shook his head. Henry watched as Alex stalked closer. He only had his reading lamp on and the shadows on Alex’s face made him look gaunt and haunted. Alex’s eyes shifted around the room. 

“We need to go.” Alex whispered, barely audible but Henry heard him. He felt a cold spike of fear shoot through him. 

“What do you mean?” He whispered back as Alex stood just the side of the window and looked out between the curtains. 

“You’re not safe here.” Alex didn’t look at him but Henry believed him. How could he not after the things they had gone through together?

“Let me just grab some things.” He said as he got out from under the covers. Alex grabbed his arm as he walked by.

“Only what you can fit in your pockets. Get dressed quickly get gotta move.” 

Henry nodded and quickly threw on some jeans and a tshirt followed by a sweater and a jacket. He wasn’t sure where they were going but he needed to be comfortable, he had a feeling. He slipped his phone and wallet into his pockets along with his keys.

Alex grabbed for his phone and unlocked it. Henry was about to ask how he knew his passcode but he had a feeling he wouldn’t like the answer. Alex handed it back. “No tracking.” He explained and Henry nodded.

He followed Alex out the door and down the shadowy stairs, his fear spiking once again. He didn’t know why Alex was here or why he was in danger and it was the not knowing that was scaring him. All he knew was that Alex was trained for this. 

They managed to get down the stairs without anyone stopping them. 

“Don’t move.” The calm voice of Shaan interrupted them. 

Henry turned just as Alex froze for a moment before slowly turning as well. “Shaan you don’t want to do this.”

“Give me one good reason Diaz.” Shaan was pointing a gun at Alex. 

“Richards is a liar.” Alex seethed and Henry frowned. Why was Alex bringing up Richards at a time like this?

“It’s very convenient that you go missing when it’s just the two of you.” Shaan said in a warning voice. 

“He’s got you in it too huh?” Alex hissed and it was Shaan’s turn to frown.

“What?” Shaan lowered his gun. “What are you talking about?”

“Richards is behind all of this. Surely you could have guessed that by now.” 

“Funny. He said the same thing about you.” Shaan cocked his head and Henry took a step back.

“What the hell is going on?” His eyes went between Shaan and Alex.

“Why don’t you tell him Alex.” Shaan gestured for him to speak.

Alex was silent.

“One of you talks or I’m getting someone on the phone right _now_.” Henry gritted out.

“Richards seems to think that I’m behind the kidnapping.” Alex said finally and Henry’s eyes widened.

“What? That’s-”

“Impossible I know.” Alex turned to him. “You know me. You know what we went through.” 

“Of course.” Henry reached out with his hand without even thinking about it, fingers going to Alex’s elbow.

Shaan straightened and fully holstered his gun. “I should have known Richards would try to pull something like this.”

“So you’ll let us go?” Alex asked, warily.

“Yeah but if he twists my arm I’m going to say that you escaped. Go to the safehouse in Brighton.” Shaan said and Alex nodded.

“Let’s go Henry.” Alex said and Henry paused for a moment. He reached out and gave Shaan a hug.

“Be safe.” Shaan hugged him back.

With one final look Henry followed Alex out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do i smell CONSPIRACY???????
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	12. stitches

It had been a quiet ride to Brighton. Alex knew instantly which safe house Shaan was talking about. It wasn’t on their government registry of safe houses but had been Shaan’s aunt’s house before she left it to her nephew. Shaan had told him about it shortly after their first need for one with Henry. 

(“If we’re ever compromised take him there.”

“But Shaan-”

“No buts. You never know when you’ll need it. He’ll be safe there.”)

It seemed Shaan had been right but Alex had always assumed they all would be together rather than just him and Henry.

Henry had fallen asleep halfway through the ride and Alex didn’t try to keep him awake. He would need his rest Alex was sure of that. 

It had been a whirlwind and Alex wanted desperately to take a break but when he looked over at the sleeping, relaxed face of Henry he knew that he could never take a break. Not when things were this important. 

He wasn’t sure when his thoughts about Henry changed. For the longest time it was all business but then Henry had let him in and see the true side of him. He sought Alex out when he found a funny dog video and they had shared conversations that Alex had the distinct feeling that Henry hadn’t had with anyone else. 

Alex wasn’t sure at first that he wanted that. He had only been in professional relationships in the past when working. His time at the FBI meant that he was undercover sometimes and never allowed to get close. When moving to England on a whim after an untimely breakup with his former job he kept things professional there as well. Usually just old judges or police detail during large events. Nothing too dangerous until Henry. 

He honestly wasn’t sure how he had gotten assigned to Henry. He was new and an American and Henry was a rising star with his liberal ideals and loud mouth. Never as loud as Alex though once they got comfortable around each other. They were two sides of the same coin though had much different styles of dealing with things.

Alex was all brute force and quick one liners. 

Henry was calculated reasoning and sharp wit. 

He supposed in a way it had been useless for Alex to resist. But he had to keep telling himself that Henry was his job, not some schoolboy fancy. 

He kept his eyes on the road until the got to the safe house. It was then that he shook Henry awake.

Henry hissed in pain and shifted away and Alex could have beaten himself. He had forgotten which shoulder Henry had been stabbed through.

“Sorry.” He said quickly. “We’re here.”

Henry shifted up sleepily, hand going to his shoulder for a moment. He opened the door and followed Alex to the door.

“Who’s place is this? It doesn’t look like a government house.” Henry said softly. It was nearly 3 in the morning as Alex unlocked the door.

“It’s Shaan’s aunts. We were keeping it off the records just in case something like this happened.”

Henry’s eyes widened before he looked at the house with new perspective. 

“Come inside, let me take a look at that shoulder.” Alex said as he opened the door and Henry stepped inside. The house was cosy and still had that lived in feeling to it. A bit of a seaside house with a bright red door and just as colorful insides. 

Henry sat down on the couch and awkwardly pulled his sweater and shirt over his head. Alex had to fight to keep a professional face as he knelt down in front of the man. He delicately peeled back the bandage that had started to leak through with blood. The wound was bleeding and Alex stood once more, rummaging through the kitchen until he found a first aid kit.

He cleaned the wound with precision, not looking at Henry’s eyes. “Some of your stitches ripped. I’m going to have to replace them. It’s going to hurt but it’ll be quick.” He said as he threaded the needle. He brought out a lighter and moved the flame over the metal. 

It was only then that he looked up at Henry who gave him a quick nod as he braced himself. 

Alex pushed the needle through Henry’s skin and gritted his teeth as he heard Henry’s gasp of pain. His eyes couldn’t help but flick up to Henry who gave him another nod though his mouth was a thin line. 

He finished the job as quick as he could before tying off the needle and cleaning the wound again. He redressed the area and stood up with the first aid kit. 

“You should be fine now. Are you hungry at all?” He asked from the kitchen. He leaned against the counter for a moment, closing his eyes. How they got to this place he wasn’t sure. He never wanted to cause Henry pain and now he was here being sequestered away for fear that someone would make another attempt on his life. By the very people that were pledged to protect him no less. 

Alex had heard whispers about conspiracy plots to take out people who spoke out against the government in their attempt to change ideas. He had nearly witnessed it first hand when he was still working for the FBI. They had forced him out of the bureau because of it and now it was happening all over again only this time he was going to become the scapegoat if he didn’t stop it.

“No I’m not hungry. I just want to sleep.” Henry said in a weary, pain filled voice.

Alex straightened. “I think there’s a bedroom upstairs. I’ll take the downstairs one.”

He walked back into the living room and Henry was getting to his feet. Alex automatically reached out to help him.

“I’m sorry.” He said before he could stop the words.

“It’s not your fault.” Henry said back automatically.

“I have the distinct feeling that it is.” He said with a ghost of a smile.

Henry didn’t smile back.

“Goodnight Alex.”

“Goodnight Henry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well hot damn I actually did it. Three chapters in one day. We're now caught up and back on track! Gotta love that sweet sweet pining am I right?
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	13. scars

Henry wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He had finished taking his shower in the foreign home, using the soap that was surprisingly the same brand he had used. He figured that if Shaan knew he was in need of a safe house might as well stock it with things he liked. He’d have to thank Shaan next time he saw him.

If he ever saw him.

No, Henry wasn’t going to think like that. This would all eventually blow over and he knew Alex and Shaan were working on it. He couldn’t be sure about Amy but he wouldn’t be surprised if she was as well. They were a tight knit group the four of them. 

He sat on the bed and towled through his hair when he saw Alex walk in. 

“Oh sorry, I thought you were…” Alex gestured at the open bathroom. The one thing bad about this place was that there was only one shower and he didn’t much feel like taking a bath. Alex had let him take his shower first since it was in his downstairs room. He supposed he had been quiet enough for Alex to think he was gone.

“I’m done if you want to go in.” Henry gestured and Alex paused for a moment, then nodded. He attempted to keep his eyes off Alex and he was mostly successful until Alex started to take off his shirt as he began to shut the bathroom door. Henry caught a sliver of browned skin from underneath the wool sweater and he couldn’t help but suck in a slow but deep breath.

Stop it.

He was in the middle of the worst month of his life and all he could think about was seeing Alex naked. He lay back on the bed for a moment and closed his eyes. He could hear the shower start and he began to drift off without even meaning to.

“You can stay down here if you want.” Alex’s voice jolted him out of his slumber and he jerked back. “Whoops. Sorry.” Alex’s face was a small grin and Henry was glad to see it. He hadn’t seen it in so long he had almost forgotten what it was like.

Henry sat up. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“That’s alright.” Alex said as he moved to the closet. Yet again, stocked with mens clothes. Shaan thought of everything.

Henry watched as Alex moved, only a towel around his waist. He had never seen this much skin of Alex before now. Usually the man was wearing suits or at the very least a button up dress shirt. The light caught against his body and Henry let his eyes wander. There were so many marks all across Alex’s body that Henry had never seen. 

Alex pulled on underwear before letting the towel drop. Henry didn’t notice at first that Alex was watching him. “Something the matter?” He asked in a smooth sort of way that made Henry feel his cheeks getting hot.

“Oh sorry I’ll go.” 

“You don’t have to. I already said that. In fact it would be safer if we were in the same room.” Alex said quickly and Henry paused halfway standing before slowly lowering himself back down. He swallowed and nodded.

“Well...if you think so.”

Alex gave him a half smile as he sat down on the bed. “I do.”

Henry was silent though his eyes wandered over Alex’s skin again. “You have so many scars.” He said softly, his fingers itching to reach out and touch the shiny map of marks across Alex’s body.

“Means I’m still alive.” Alex said in just as soft of a voice. 

They were close on this bed together and Henry knew that he could easily close the distance. “Where did you get this one?” Henry asked as he let himself brush against Alex’s shoulder.

“Bullet wound from my second month in the FBI. Busted undercover mission.” Alex said easily and Henry’s eyes flicked up to the brown ones that were staring back at him.

“And this one?” Henry grazed across a long line that started from Alex’s right pec and ended just below his ribs.

“That was me falling off a dirt bike when I was 15.” Alex couldn’t help but grin and Henry’s eyes widened and he laughed a little. “Yeah I was an idiot even back then.”

Henry found Alex’s throat this time and lightly traced across a thin line that went all the way across. He had seen this one the most but had never asked about it. It didn’t feel right in any context until this moment. “And this?” It was barely as whisper.

Alex’s hand went up to wrap around Henry’s and Henry looked back into his eyes. “That was the closest I’ve ever been to death.”

Henry’s lips parted, unsure what to say. 

“Alex I-” Henry started but Alex let his hand go and slipped back. 

“We should get some sleep.” Alex said and Henry was left sitting there, his hand hovering in the air before he slowly let it fall. He let out a slow breath.

“I think I’m going to sleep upstairs.” He said after a moment and Alex gave him a nod. 

As he lay in bed all alone in a strange house all he could think about was the way that Alex’s hand felt around his own. They were in the middle of what only could be a government conspiracy and all he could think about was Alex’s goddamn hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have some fluff you've earned it now go on get
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	14. tear stained

Alex let himself have 4 hours of sleep. He was used to not sleeping for long periods of time. Granted, it had been a while since he had to go so long without a good night’s sleep, but he could manage. He needed to be on guard as best he could and as quick as he could. He never knew when someone would find this safe house. 

He was in the kitchen making coffee when he heard a noise upstairs. Instantly his guard went up and he found himself slipping out his gun from its holster and making his way towards where Henry was sleeping.

In his mind he was calculating just how someone could have gotten upstairs without him noticing. The only way in was through the window and the only way towards that falling from the rooftop just so. Unless of course they had been here the entire time and were just waiting but then if they had done that why wait until he was awake?

His mind was racing through the scenarios but as he got to the top of the stairs he heard the sound again and he realized it was just Henry in his sleep.

Alex let out a breath and holstered his gun once more. 

He was about to go back downstairs when he heard his name coming from Henry. He frowned and turned around to see Henry’s eyes were open.

Without even thinking he came forward into the darkness of the room. “Hey.” He whispered as he knelt down in front of him. It brought him back to the time that Henry was feverish and talking to him like he didn’t realize it was Alex who was in front of him.

There were tears glinting on Henry’s cheeks and Alex felt his expression soften. “Bad dream?”

Henry closed his eyes and was silent before barely nodding. “Are they going to kill me?” Henry asked in a voice that was barely a voice at all. 

“What? No, of course not.” Alex said with almost too much force. It made Henry’s eyes open. He reached out and delicately brushed the tears from Henry’s cheeks. Henry reached up and covered Alex’s hand with his own. He could barely breathe.

“Thank you.” Henry murmured as he brought Alex’s hand to kiss his palm. “I don’t think I’ve ever said that.”

“You’re welcome.” He said easily. He felt this moment grow and stretch into infinity. The softness and tenderness was almost too much for Alex to bear. He swallowed thickly. He made to stand but Henry pulled him back.

“Don’t leave me please.” Henry said and how could Alex say no? He knelt back down, his arm still wrapped up in Henry’s grip. 

“Okay.” He breathed out and Henry tugged him closer until their faces were mere inches apart. He swallowed again, breath hitching a bit. He would be lying if he said that he hadn’t imagined something like this in the quiet moments where he was nearly asleep and allowed to think about dreams that wouldn’t become realities. 

He would be lying if he said that he hadn’t thought about this since the moment he met Henry with his proud tilt of his head and steely gaze that could tear down bigger men to piles of ash. He put his feelings aside though. Henry was his work, not his life. 

Now in this darkened room those two had started to twist and blur until he wasn’t sure where one ended and the other began. 

“Kiss me.” Henry said and Alex froze, thinking he imagined it. “Kiss me please.” Henry said again and this time Alex knew he hadn’t imagined that one.

He closed the distant so slowly that it felt like he wasn’t moving at all. Until he felt Henry’s lips against his own. It was barely a kiss, mostly just a brush. Alex felt the wetness from Henry’s tears and heat of his breath. He pulled back with a shaky breath and saw Henry’s blue eyes glinting at him in the darkness, shiny and full. 

“What took you so long?” Henry asked with a ghost of a smile.

“I was attempting to save your life or did you forget about that part?” Alex couldn’t stop the quick response and Henry chuckled a watery laugh. Alex pressed their foreheads together. “Really shitty timing you know.”

“Yeah I know.” Henry sighed and Alex felt him lean forward again and then they were kissing once again but this time it was a real kiss. An actual kiss that sent Alex’s heart pounding and fluttering in his stomach. 

He heard a sound outside the window and he froze, pulling back. His body instantly went rigid as he listened for it again. He held a fingers to his lips as he crouched forward and crawled toward the window and slowly peeked over the sill. He heard Henry shift in the bed as he turned towards Alex. 

Two men were outside and Alex studied them for a moment. Both were dressed casually in sweats and loose jackets. For a moment it looked like they were just outside for a smoke break but one moved and Alex saw the flash of what could only be a concealed gun and he felt ice in his veins. 

They couldn’t even have two goddamn nights without someone being onto them. He had to figure a way out and fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's this? more fluff??????? shocking
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	15. adrenaline

“They could just be outside for a smoke break.” Henry whispered and Alex shook his head, holding out his hand for Henry to be quiet. 

“Guns.” Was all he let out and Henry snapped his mouth closed. Alex couldn’t stop the faint smirk but it didn’t last for long. His heartbeat was picking up and adrenaline was starting to pump through him. “I need you to get off the bed and keep your body below the window line. I can’t be sure how much they can see in.” 

Henry nodded and slowly slid off the bed, keeping his body low to the ground as he crawled closer to Alex. He sat against the bed, shoulders hunched over. He looked a little bit like a puppet as Alex’s eyes went back to the window. He could still hear the men’s voices lowly in the darkness.

His mind was whirling on what to do next but for the moment all he could do is wait and see.

Wait and see while his body was rigid with anticipation and his heart his metronome.

Eventually they quieted and went back inside the house across the street. 

The house that looked directly into this one. 

“They know we’re here.” Alex whispered, heart pounding. He couldn’t say how long they’ve been there, surveilling the house but long enough to know that they needed guns. 

Fuck how was he going to get them out of this now?

He turned back to Henry. “They won’t do anything right now. All we need to do is stay out of sight of the windows so they can’t get pictures. Tomorrow we’ll leave during the daylight and when it’s busy outside. More witnesses.”

Henry nodded. “Where will we go?”

“I…” He started to speak before stopping. “I-I’m not sure yet.”

“Hey,” Henry placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll figure it out. You always do. Let me know if I can help. I’ve been feeling a little useless here after all.” 

“You’re not useless.” Alex said with enough force that it startled himself. He leaned forward hesitantly. Henry didn’t move. He pressed their foreheads together. “You’re not useless okay?”

He heard Henry take in a deep breath. “Okay.” He could feel Henry shaking under him. 

“We’re going to be fine.” 

“You know you keep saying that and yet…” Henry gave him a wry smile and Alex rolled his eyes.

“You aren’t dead right?”

“Yeah but I’ve got a stab wound.”

“Remember what I said about scars?”

“Shut up.” Henry rolled his eyes and Alex felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him wash over him once more and so he did.

He held Henry close, the two of them leaning against the bed on the floor, Alex lacing their fingers together. 

It wasn’t a necessarily heated kiss. It was a slow, meaningful one. 

A kiss that told Alex that he had crossed that professional boundary but in a way he supposed he had passed that a long time ago. 

When he pulled back, both of them breathless, eyes sparking, he rubbed his thumb across Henry’s cheek while he cupped his jaw. 

“We’re going to be fine.” He murmured.

“I know.” Henry whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a shorter one but i mean you gotta chill for a little before the action picks up again right?????
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	16. pinned down

They left in the morning. Henry actually had time to pack a small bag that Alex managed to smuggle out to the car before they quickly peeled away from the safe house with the rest of the morning traffic. Alex had figured out they could go stay with one of his former coworkers, an FBI agent who retired to the Engish countryside. 

The trip was rather peaceful despite the circumstances. Alex was loose and haloed by the sun with his sunglasses on singing along to John Denver. 

Henry propped his foot up on the dash as he leaned back and let himself slowly relax after they had gotten out of the city. 

“Do you think you’ll ever have a normal life after this?” Henry asked.

Alex looked over at him with his Wayfarers on. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a normal life. Military brat from the get go.”

Henry’s brow rose but he supposed it made sense. 

“You’ll go back to being your same life though.” Alex said easily as he looked back to the road.

“No I won’t. Not after this.” He muttered and Alex said nothing but his expression said everything. A look of sympathy and regret. It hurt him a bit. He watched as Alex’s left hand came over and brushed against his hand. He let him lace their fingers together. 

It was a delicate motion that he wasn’t used to but he didn’t mind it. In fact he actually kind of enjoyed it. He watched, lips parted as Alex brought their hands to his lips and kissed him softly. After this was over he was going to take Alex on a long vacation and do things to him.

That was certainly for sure.

He saw Alex open his mouth to say something but then stopped as he eyes went to the rearview mirror and he dropped Henry’s hand. His grip tightened on the steering wheel. “We’re being followed.”

A shot of fear went through him. “Can you lose them?”

“It’s open road. There’s nowhere to go.” Alex said in a strained voice. Henry felt the car speed up but Alex was right, it was all open country right now. Nowhere to hide.

He lowered himself in his seat, getting flashbacks to when Alex had saved his life by hiding in an alleyway while bullets had been raining down. This wasn’t an armored vehicle though. This was just a regular civilian one and he knew that if the people following them were to fire on them there was nothing stopping those bullets other than regular steel. 

He was quiet as he watched Alex attempt to get them out of harm's way but Henry had a sinking feeling that he may well be about to die. 

“Alex I just want you to know that I appreciate everything you’ve done.” He said.

“Don’t talk like that.” Alex snapped.

“No, I want you to know just in case. Honestly I’ve enjoyed having you in my life and you’ve saved me too many times to count. I need you to know that. I always looked forward to seeing you every morning and I always found it unfair that I had to say goodbye to you every night.” Henry kept talking and Alex looked at him for a single moment before Henry felt the steering wheel jerk and a quick ‘shit’ coming from Alex and then the car was starting to flip.

It made him feel weightless a bit. Like he was floating on air.

Then the screeching sound and the shattering of glass and the jolt throughout his entire body as the car began to roll. 

It came to a stop and Henry thought he was dead for sure, but then his next thought was that if he was dead it wouldn’t hurt so much. 

There was only a low hum in his ears as he blinked his eyes open. Something was trickling into his eyes and he let out a groan of pain. 

There was a sound. Words perhaps? He couldn’t be certain.

He attempted to move his arm out to feel for Alex but his entire body felt heavy and he couldn’t move which was strange. Why couldn’t he move?

“Alex?” He slurred.

“Henry? Oh god Henry can you move?” 

“Wha?” His words felt like molasses on his tongue. He felt hands all over him and he let out another groan of pain. “My...my legs I think.” He mumbled. He felt something stop him from moving his legs.

The car was pinning him down. That was it. His brain was finally clicking into place but everything hurt and then his thought process was slowing down at a rapid rate. He just wanted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah shit here we go again
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	17. "stay with me"

Alex should have seen it coming from a mile away. Quite literally too. His attention had been on the car in the rear view mirror and he hadn’t even noticed the car coming at them head on until he glanced ahead and managed to yell out a curse word before yanking the steering wheel to the right. The car coming at them hit at an odd angle and the impact sent the car flying towards the ditch and rolling. 

He felt like he was floating for a moment and if he hadn’t been intensely worried about Henry in split second, he would have thought about how this must be what flying felt like. 

But then the car came crashing down and rolling twice, ending up upside down.

His hearing shot, only a faint hum while he did a mental check of himself once he managed to process what had happened. He felt mostly fine. A few areas that would bruise he could be sure of that but when he looked over at Henry he saw that the man had become pinned by the dashboard. 

“Fuck fuck fuck Heny please.” Alex unhooked himself and started to crawl over. He heard his name slurring on Henry’s lips. That was good, he was awake but he didn’t like the sound of the speech. “Oh god Henry can you move?”

Something about his legs and Alex crawled out through the open window and limped around the car to where Henry was. He pulled at the dashboard and managed to budge it enough for Henry to move his pinned legs though it was like slow motion. 

“I need you to come this way okay Hen? Please.” He said in a pleading voice. Henry shook his head like he was getting all the cobwebs out and with the combined effort of Henry’s movement and Alex pulling on him they got Henry out from the wreckage. 

Henry slumped against him as Alex sat down and leaned against the mangled wreckage of the car. 

The two cars that were following them were long gone and Alex was grateful for that. 

He pulled out his burner flip phone that was only cracked in a few places but still worked. He quickly dialed the number of his former work colleague. 

“Hey Rafe? Yeah I might need you to come get us. We’re about 20 minutes away from you.” He said in a strained voice. 

Henry was starting to breathe a little shallowly.

“Come quickly please.” He said and snapped the burner phone shut. He shook Henry awake. “Stay with me alright? I need you to stay awake for me.”

Henry nuzzled against the crook of Alex’s shoulder. Alex went rigid at that before relaxing into the feeling of it. They were mostly protected by the car, Alex choosing a place that hid them from the road despite the fact that he hadn’t seen anyone pass by. 

“Tell me a story.” Henry said, his words thick.

“What kind of story?” Alex asked, fighting to keep his voice steady. The weight of Henry against him was distracting him. He saw how bruised and bloodied Henry’s legs were but he could still move them alright it seemed. 

“Tell me about one of your FBI heroics.”

“I think you’ve seen too many Mission Impossible movies. It’s a lot of boring paperwork.” Alex said with a forced laugh.

Henry shifted in his arms. “Tell me about the time you got shot then.”

Alex tensed. He hadn’t talked about that day in a long time and still it gave him nightmares when he rehashed the memory.

“Or don’t. Tell me about something else.” Henry said in a quiet voice. “Tell me why England.”

“America, though I love her, is a fucking idiot. At least in England I could pretend to be someone different. Still got wrapped up in shit like this though.” Alex said bitterly.

“I’m sorry.” Henry said softly.

“No, no it’s not you. It’s never been you.” Alex backtracked quickly. “It’s this way that anyone who defies the norms tends to end up dead.” He heard Henry suck in a quick breath. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Words aren’t my friend right now.”

“That’s okay. You’re doing your best.”

“And yet it’s you that keeps getting hurt.” He said softly and kissed the top of Henry’s head. Henry was silent for a while and Alex leaned over and saw that Henry was starting to drift. He shook the man’s body a little bit. “Henry, you gotta stay awake for me okay? Stay with me.” 

Henry started and then sagged a little. “Yes I know.” That weak voice again.

“Where does it hurt?”

“M’ legs.” Henry muttered and Alex was about to say something when he heard a car stop. He quickly tensed again and his head whipped around, free hand bringing his gun up only to relax in relief. 

“Rafe.” He said and lowered his gun.

“Real mess you’ve gotten in huh? Typical.” The man gave him a wry smile.

“Little help please.” He said and Rafael came down the hill to where Alex and Henry were hidden. “Were you followed?” He asked quickly as the man helped him get Henry to his feet.

“You take me for an amateaur? Need I remind you who trained your stupid ass?” Rafael arched an eyebrow over Henry’s shoulder. Alex pulled Henry’s arm around his shoulder while Rafael took Henry’s other side and the two of them got Henry into Rafael’s car. Alex stayed in the back while Henry leaned heavily on him while Rafael got all three of them away from the scene. 

“Thanks for this.” He said curtly as he brushed Henry’s hair out of his eyes. Henry hummed that turned into a groan when Alex shook him awake.

“Who’s behind it? Do you know?” Rafael asked him, looking at Alex in the rearview mirror. 

“I’m not sure yet. I’m thinking Richards. He practically threatened me to stop interfering when he took me off Henry’s detail. I don’t have proof though.”

“Figures it’d be that snake. You know he’s going to pin the blame on you right?”

“I know.” Alex gritted out. “Let’s just get Henry somewhere safe alright?”

Rafael looked at him in the mirror once more before nodding. Alex went back to Henry who was staring up at him. 

“Do you trust him?” Henry asked in barely loud enough voice for Alex to hear.

“With my life.” He murmured back and Henry nodded.

They would be safe for now with Rafael but Alex couldn’t be sure for how long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rafael to the rescue as per usual god bless
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	18. muffled scream

Moving Henry was going to be a problem. They were at Rafael’s country home, a house not unlike the farmhouse they had escaped from what felt like eons ago but was most likely only a week. Alex couldn’t be sure, all the days seemed to meld together at this point. The only points of reference were the hospital and the kiss. Nothing in between mattered and nothing since then mattered either. 

Except the fact that Henry needed to stay awake because Alex was pretty sure Henry had suffered a concussion. 

“Can you walk?” He asked Henry again when Rafael parked the car. 

Henry stirred next to him and nodded. “I think so.” Henry mumbled and Alex didn’t like the way his words were starting to slur more and more.

“Rafe’s gonna come around and grab you, then I’ll get around and grab your other side.” He said and Henry nodded.

They did just that and slowly but surely got Henry inside and on the couch in the living room. He would have mentioned just how tacky the place looked but Rafe gave him a look that told him now wasn’t the time. 

“I need to look at his legs.” He said to Rafael who nodded and went into the kitchen only to bring out scissors and handed them to Alex. He took them with a quick thanks and began to cut Henry’s pants off. 

“How bad is it?” Henry asked, not looking down but up at the ceiling. 

Alex forced himself not to make a sharp inhale. The entirety of Henry’s legs were swollen and bruised. There were a few cuts and scrapes but it was the swollenness that concerned Alex. “I’m going to make sure nothing’s broken okay?” Henry nodded but Alex still went slowly. He worked his fingers up and down the legs and he watched Henry’s reaction. Usually it was just a wince or nothing at all. It was when he got to his knee that Henry let out a yell of pain.

Alex worked his fingers again and Henry’s hand went out and punched Alex on reflex. He reeled back and Henry’s eyes widened.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” Henry said though his voice was pained.

Alex couldn’t help but laugh as he worked his jaw. “No harm done.” He couldn’t stop his smile. His smile faded though when he looked at Rafael who already had a concerned look on his face. “I think it’s dislocated. If we don’t move it back it might cause more damage.” He said and it was Henry’s turn to have his eyes widen.

“Wait wait what? No you are _not_ going to pop my knee back into place.” Henry shifted back and Alex reached out to stop him. 

“I’ve done this a lot okay? I’ve been trained.” 

Henry was still wary. “Is it going to hurt?”

“Yeah but then it won’t hurt as bad.” Alex said truthfully.

“You don’t sugar coat anything do you?”

“Nope.” Alex grinned, an echo of his former self. The one that wasn’t currently on the run from people trying to set them up.

Henry sighed and Alex nodded to Rafael who held down Henry by his shoulders. 

He held out a pillow for Henry to bite down on. 

“I’m gonna have to wash these.” Rafael muttered and Alex just glared at him.

“Alright on the count of three okay?” He said as he stood and got into position, gripping Henry’s leg near his knee. Henry nodded. “One, two, three.”

On three, he jerked the knee back into place and Henry let out a scream that was muffled by the pillow.

“Oh shit I think he passed out.” Rafael looked over Henry and Alex’s mouth twitched into a lopsided smile for a moment, look at Henry’s rather peaceful face before he snapped back to attention. 

“Wraps?” 

Rafael nodded and went to get bandages for Alex to wrap Henry’s knee. He did just that and as Henry came back to the waking world Alex pushed back the blonde hair off his face.

“I’m such a weenie.” Henry moaned. “It feels better though.”

“You’re not a weenie. I’ve seen tougher guys do much worse when they’ve dislocated their knee.” Alex knelt down next to Henry’s face and pushed his forehead against the man’s. “I’m glad it feels better though. Hopefully we’ll get time for you to heal.”

Henry sighed before angeling his face towards Alex and he pressed his lips to Alex’s who instantly kissed him back. 

He wasn’t sure how long he knelt their kissing Henry but it was only when Rafael cleared his throat that he moved back. He looked up and saw his friend standing in the kitchen he nodded but stopped to make sure Henry didn’t have a concussion. His eyes were clear so Alex let him rest before walking into the kitchen. They would deal with the rest of the things later like getting Henry into a shower to wash off the broken glass. 

“So it’s like that huh?” Rafael asked as he handed Alex a cup of coffee. Alex took it gratefully. He looked back at Henry who had already closed his eyes.

“I think it’s been like that for a long time.” He said. “I just never did anything about it.”

“You know this won’t end well right? You and Henry. He’s meant for big political stardom.” 

Alex’s face whipped toward Rafael and he narrowed his eyes. “I’m just trying to keep him alive at this point.” He turned back towards Henry, unable to look away for long. “We can deal with the other things later.”

Rafael made a disgruntled noise but said nothing. 

Alex knew the words he had said were true but so were his. He needed to keep Henry alive and right now that’s all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did absolutely no medical research for this chapter. Don't follow my medical advice ok? It's all for the ~drama~ at this point. Is a dislocated knee like a dislocated shoulder? I have absolutely no idea but do I care? naaaaaaah
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	19. trembling

Henry couldn’t get warm no matter what he did. He was in the couch under several blankets that Alex had insisted on and he couldn’t get warm for the life of him. Well maybe it wasn’t the lack of warmth but more the constant shaking that he couldn’t stop. He wasn’t sure which one was the truth. 

Alex was on the floor with his back up against the couch watching TV. It felt like such a mundane thing to do after everything that had happened but here they were watching an episode of Eastenders and pretending like everything was normal.

He jumped a little when Alex let out a laugh at the scene in front of him but Henry found he couldn’t pay attention. 

He gave Alex a small smile when the man turned back to look at him to see if he was laughing as well. It was a split second of happiness before Alex’s face turned to one of concern and he twisted around so that he was facing Henry better.

“Hen? What’s wrong? Do you have a fever?” He felt Alex’s hand against his forehead and then Alex’s frown deepened. Alex placed his hands on both sides of his face. “You’re shaking.”

“Yeah,” Henry laughed a little awkward. “I don’t really know why but I can’t stop. I don’t think I’m cold.”

Alex pulled back the blankets and Henry let out a little sound of protest. He gingerly touched Henry’s knee and he felt a bit of pain shoot up but nothing from what it had been. “Does this feel alright?”

“Yeah it’s not too bad.” He said truthfully. He shrugged, wishing Alex would stop fawning over him.

“You’re probably in shock.” Alex said thoughtfully. “Keep the blankets on.” He said as he pulled them back over Henry and went to the kitchen. He came back with a glass of water and told Henry to drink half of it. He did of course and then Alex sat back down in front of him to return to the TV.

“I’m not going to die right?” Henry asked with a little amusement in his voice though it came out a little wobbly from his constant shivers. 

Alex’s head whipped around. “No you’re not going to die. You’ve been through a lot.” 

“Yeah.” Henry said in agreement. “Can you come up here?”

Alex rose from the floor once more and Henry sat up for Alex to take a seat next to him and then he laid his head in Alex’s lap, twisting to his side so that he could wrap an arm around one of Alex’s thighs. He sighed when Alex’s hands went to Henry’s hair and began to run fingers through it. 

They stayed like this for a long time, watching the overly dramatic soap opera play out on the TV. Henry found himself nodding off from the warmth radiating off Alex and the feel of light scratching on his scalp.

It was only when he felt Alex shift did he wake up. 

“Sorry, my foot was falling asleep.” Alex quickly apologized and Henry hummed, snuggling closer. 

“That’s okay.” He mumbled.

“You’ve stopped trembling though. That’s good.” Alex said absently, fingers still running through his hair gently.

“It’s ‘cause of you.” He said as he felt sleep start to take him again. “You’re warm.”

And then he was asleep once more and didn’t care about anything else in the world except Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here have some murmurs of sweet nothings
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	20. asphyxiation

Henry knew deep down that things were far from over. They had been at Rafael’s for three days and nothing had happened but he heard Alex and Rafael discussing when they thought he was asleep. He had stayed out on the couch during the day and with Alex’s help, he managed to hobble to the downstairs bedroom.

He knew that Alex and Rafael were doing their best but considering Rafael was retired and Alex was disbarred from his resources, they weren’t able to do much except try and get in contact with people in the inside.

What he had gathered from listening in was that because he was an influential person in the liberal party, the more conservative party was trying to take him out before he could cause too much damage. 

It all felt very spy movie like and if he wasn’t in the middle of it, he would have thought it was a ridiculous notion but he truly believed that if Alex hadn’t been around when he was he would have been killed more than twice over.

A part of him hated the fact that he was making life hard for Alex. He didn’t meant to drag the man into all of this but the moment he attempted to bring that up Alex’s eyes flashed and he yelled at Henry and he quickly shut up. That didn’t mean he couldn’t still think it though. He had caused Alex harm by just being in his life and he wished he could take it back. 

He didn’t wish he could take back everything he had done politically though. He stood by his views no matter what, it was just awful all the collateral damage he had brought along with him.

Henry sighed as he shifted on the couch, attempting to get comfortable. He felt like all he had been doing as sleeping and being a burden. He felt on edge, like he was waiting for something to happen because they hadn’t ever gone this long without disaster striking.

“Don’t you feel like something bad’s about to happen?” He asked Alex when the man brought him his dinner. He sat up as he took the plate.

“Why do you think that?”

“Because I feel like I’m a walking magnet for disaster now and you’re just going to get hurt again.” He sighed.

“I can handle whatever you think is going to happen but I highly doubt something is.” Alex arched an eyebrow, an amused look on his face.

“I just feel bad and a burden. Rafael’s been so kind to us and I’m just going to get him hurt.” 

“Hey,” Alex reached out and took Henry’s hand and squeezed it. “This is more than just you okay? If we let something like this slide all those people that you could help would be worse off. You’re important Henry.”

Alex leaned over and kissed him softly and of course Henry kissed him back. How could he not? That didn’t mean he let his thoughts go just like that. Instead he squashed them down. 

The week ended and still nothing. Henry felt antsy all the time and each sound in the house made him jump. God if he ever got through this he was going to need some intense therapy.

It was a Monday night, Rafael already asleep in his room and Alex was in the kitchen, cleaning up. Henry stared blankly at the TV, not really watching when he heard a sound. It was more like a choked sound and he frowned.

“You alright Alex?” He called and then his heart dropped into his stomach and he felt the blood drain from his face. 

“I don’t think Alex here can talk right now can you?” A man in a ski mask spoke as he held a cord up against Alex’s throat, forcing Alex to lean back against him. Henry could see the panic but also the anger in Alex’s face as he attempted to force his thumbs under the cord to stop the man from choking him.

Henry rose from the couch in an instant, ignoring the twinge in his knee. “Let him go.” He said, his voice wavering only a little though he felt the panic coursing through him.

“I don’t think so. You see, Alex here made it very hard to find you, even with all the information that was floating around about you.” Henry could tell the man was sneering at him from under the mask but he only had eyes for Alex.

Alex kept making choked sounds and shaking his head.

“What do you want?” He seethed, hands balling into fists. 

“For you to come with us. I’ll let Alex here go if you come without me having to call in my associates.” 

This time Alex’s eyes widened and he shook his head harder but Henry could see the way the light was starting to dim in his eyes and the choking sound he made when the man pulled harder with the cord. Blood began to tickle down Alex’s throat and Henry gritted his teeth.

“Alright.” He sagged. “I’ll go with you but you can’t kill him.”

The man tightened the cord again and Henry watched as Alex’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and his body slumped against the man. He let go of the cord and Henry rushed forward, attempting to catch Alex’s body before it fell to the ground. He was able to slow his fall but not by much. His fingers went to Alex’s neck, attempting to find a pulse and he sighed in relief when he found one. Weak, but it was there.

“Come on along.” The man growled and Henry let out a sound of protest as he felt the man yank him back, away from Alex. He struggled automatically until the man hissed into his ear, “If you struggle I’ll shoot him.”

Henry felt the cold metal of the gun against his back and he froze, stopping his attempts to break free and instead went easily. 

The last thing he saw before he was shoved out the door was Alex’s limp body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We back at it folks. I obviously did not think this through when I first started doing whumptober holy shit RIP Alex and Henry I guess
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	21. laced drink

Henry couldn’t be sure where he was. It reminded him of the farmhouse that he and Alex had been taken to but this was different. It sounded different and sometimes if he listened closely he could hear a distant train so he was somewhere on the outskirts of an urban settlement.

He just couldn’t be sure where.

The men had brought him into the van, none too gently but nothing like the first time he had been taken, but that time he had Alex there to comfort him.

Now he was all alone.

He could take comfort in the fact that Alex wasn’t dead at the very least. He wasn’t sure he would be able to survive knowing that Alex had died for him. 

“How long are you going to keep me here?” Henry asked each time a man came into the room with a tray of food. Most of it was either a pitiful looking sandwich or some sort of soup. He tried holding off as long as possible on eating it but he wasn’t built for torture or starving himself and each time he broke down and ate it evne though he hated himself every time. If he was truly someone like Alex he would have fought against his own body but he didn’t have Alex’s training and he most certainly didn’t have Alex’s will.

Each time he asked the question the man never answered. These men were smarter than the ones that had held him before. They always wore some sort of mask but he could always tell who was who by their mannerisms.

Some of them set the tray down gently while others let it clatter onto the table. Some of the men brought him another blanket while others kicked him each time he asked his question. 

He never saw the leader until days later. How many days he couldn’t be sure. He recognized the man’s voice as soon as he opened his mouth though.

“I hear you’ve been wondering how long you’re going to be here.” The man sat down across from Henry. It felt like a police interrogation minus the handcuffs though Henry could feel the metaphorical restraints around his neck.

“Yes.” He croaked out. 

“I’m not going to tell you that.” The man said simply and Henry frowned.

“Then why even come down here?” He growled out. He could see the way the man’s fingers tightened into fists. 

The man laughed and leaned forward. “Because you’re fun to mess with.”

Henry clenched his jaw, about to swing at this man but when the man had moved forward he had gotten a glimpse of his gun in his holster. Feeling a bit reckless he still lashed out, fist coming out to connect to the man’s cheek and the man recoiled instantly with a sharp sound. 

He was expecting the man to lash out but instead he was unnerved when the man laughed instead, holding his cheek delicately. 

“After all this time and you still have some fire in you.” An off hand comment that made Henry want to lash out again but he figured he wouldn’t get to try his luck twice. The man called out to the guard at the door and the man came in with a glass of water and handed it off. “So here’s how it’s going to go. You’re going to drink this water and you’re not going to complain about it. If you fight me, I’m going to force it down your throat.”

“Why?” Henry asked skeptically but he figured he wouldn’t get an answer. 

He was right.

“What’s it going to be? Easy way or hard way?”

Henry set his jaw, clenching his teeth together.

“Hard way it is then.”

The guard came back in and held Henry down while he struggled against it, knowing that once the water went down his throat something bad would happen.

He was right of course.

The man held Henry’s mouth open with a clamp and forced the water down. Henry had to swallow otherwise he was going to drown and once it was all gone, the two men stepped back and Henry leaned forward, coughing and sputtering. 

“Goodnight Henry.” The man said in a sweetly cruel way that sent tingles down Henry’s spine.

And then he was alone.

He didn’t know what the men had given him but he was terrified that he had just been poisoned. He crawled over to the poor excuse for a cot and curled into a little ball, waiting for whatever had been forced down his mouth to take hold.

It took a while but soon things were starting to get hazy and he wondered if this was what dying felt like. Mostly he felt loose and limp, like his couldn’t control his body or his thoughts.

The last thing he thought of before he lost all mental control was Alex and how he wished he could just curl up into the man’s arms and never go out into the world again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> our boy Henry has just gotten roofied oh SHIT where's the hangover boys when you need them the most?
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	22. hallucination

Keeping time was getting harder and harder. He kept losing moments in the day, things turning hazy then black and then when everything became sharper, to a point where he was nearly coming out of the fog he was given another glass of something to drink and try as hard has he could to fight it, it was no use. 

Had it been hours?

Had it been days? Weeks? _Months_?

He had no idea.

Sometimes he dreamt about his old life. 

Sometimes he found himself giving speeches in these dreams.

Sometimes he found himself curled in the arms of someone warm and strong.

Sometimes he laughed with another who’s curls fell back from their face as their head tilted towards the sun.

Most of the time he was alone, fingers stretching out towards the light but it was always just out of reach.

In the time that he was coming out of his stupor he heard voices talking. A lot of it was useless but some of it told him information that let him know that he wasn’t entirely alone and that people were still searching for him.

He ached for contact but each time the men came with food and another cup of drug filled liquid they never got close enough and refused to speak to him. 

He felt like he was going insane.

He never thought he needed as much touch as before now but it was like he was in an isolation tank and couldn’t seem to get out as much as he tried.

He began to start seeing things. 

Little things at first like lights that were floating but whenever he blinked they would be gone from his vision like they had never existed.

Then it moved onto voices. Nothing much at first, just a laugh here or a sigh there. Sounds that could be played off as the creaking of pipes but then the sounds became words and they were speaking to him. 

Now he was starting to see shadows creep along the wall in forms that looked a lot like the people he had left behind. Those made him terrified but also long for his people at the same time. 

He began to stay curled up in a ball on his cot whenever the men came with food and water. He sat up only during those times and drank the water dutifully before eating the meal and going back to his position. What was the use of fighting? Anytime he came close to getting the drugs out of his system, more showed up and any time he tried to refuse it was shoved down his throat despite his best efforts. 

He was a defeated man.

Days or months later he found himself blinking his eyes open and finding Alex in front of him. He knew it was a vision and so instead of being overjoyed he reached out fondly, a small smile forming on his face. His mind was keeping him alive he supposed. 

“Henry we need to move.” This Alex was talking to him so fast, his voice so intense and riddled with anxiety. He frowned and instead reached out to place a hand on Alex’s face. 

“You feel so real.” He murmured with the same soft smile, running his thumb over Alex’s soft cheek.

“I am real. Now let’s go. We don’t have much time.” This Alex said urgently and Henry frowned.

“Don’t go yet.” He pleaded.

“I need help with him.” Alex said to someone that Henry couldn’t see and he frowned. Was his fake Alex talking to someone else? He couldn’t see anyone else in the room, only Alex who looked like he was practically glowing. 

He let out a noise of complaint when someone pulled him up from under his shoulders but all he could see was Alex. Was this real? 

Alex was in his face again. “Henry can you walk?”

“Walk?” He slurred.

“Fuck okay we got you.” Alex cursed and Henry made an annoyed face.

“No cursing sir.” He laughed and poked Alex in the cheek. He felt himself being raised up from the cot though everything spun he was continuing to walk forward. He felt like a puppet with strings. 

His head lolled onto Alex’s shoulder when they stopped in the doorway. This certainly smelled like Alex and he didn’t care about taking in a big whiff. He hummed. “I missed you Alex.” He said because this wasn’t real and the real Alex wouldn’t be here in this moment. The real Alex needed to stay away because he might get hurt. 

This Alex said nothing but put a finger over Henry’s lips. Henry frowned at that. He let his tongue flick out, touching whatever was against him and he giggled a bit to himself. He couldn’t help it, it was funny what his brain was coming up with. 

“Hey Alex,” he asked in a loud whisper. “Are you going to kiss me?” He giggled again, his bodyweight leaning onto the shorter man.

He let out a sudden surprised sound when he felt something against his lips.

“There, now will you please shut the fuck up? I’m trying to rescue you, you dumbass.” Alex hissed and Henry giggled a third time.

“You just kiiiiiissed me.” 

“Shaan, help me with him.” Alex hissed and Henry felt another set of arms wrap around his waist and then he was being half dragged half carried towards the door, the lights slowly dimming for him as he sank back into his drug induced state.

The last thing he thought of was how nice his brain was for bringing a vision of Alex to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what a nice vision Henry's brain. Snaps for you
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	23. secret injury

It had taken long. Too long for Alex’s taste to find Henry, but if it was up to him none of this would have ever happened. 

He had woken up on the floor of Rafael’s house, bleeding from his neck and Henry gone. 

It had taken three weeks for him to track down Henry and that was only with Rafael help and Shaan and Amy’s secret resources. Every minute it had taken had been like agony to Alex and he hadn’t slept more than three hours a night since Henry had been taken like that. 

It was a night mission. He had been trained in all sorts of scenarios like this but it was different when the mark was someone you had come to care intensely for. 

Alex didn’t want to even think about that l-word that floated through his mind. Not at a time like this. Not when his mind went to unspeakable places.

The house where the men were keeping Henry was quiet, only one guard on duty and he was taken out easily by Shaan, allowing Alex to move through the house. Any sleeping guards he came across he eliminated but he couldn’t be sure there weren’t more moving around. They had done surveillance on the property but not enough to be certain about the amount of men. That’s why they had to move fast.

He found Henry in one of the back rooms, on a poor excuse for a cot. He was asleep but the way he was breathing told Alex it was fitful, all shallow breaths and quiet noises.

He gently shook Henry’s shoulder and the man blinked awake after a moment. His eyes were unfocused and bleary and he acted like Alex wasn’t real. He managed to get Henry to his feet with Shaan’s help, but the man was spouting off nonsense and Alex froze in the doorway when he saw a shadow. He ignored the way Henry felt against him and how warm and affectionate he was being. Alex attempted to keep Henry quiet only to make a face of disgust when he felt Henry’s tongue against his finger. 

A kiss. 

A kiss to shut him up.

It did the trick only too well and Alex felt Henry slump against him. 

“Go ahead.” Alex hissed to Shaan, jerking his head towards the man who had passed by earlier. He strained, trying to pull Henry towards the door but it was slow going. Alex was strong but Henry was dead weight and also taller than him. “You fatass.” Alex seethed. “You dumb stupid fucking selfless idiot.” He managed to drag Henry a few more feet until Shaan was back, blood speckling his face and he helped take Henry’s weight.

They got him to the van finally. Alex was getting Henry situated as Shaan hurried around the side to the driver’s seat. 

“You fuckers!” A voice called out from the porch of the house. 

“Drive Shaan!” Alex screamed and he moved to shut the door when he heard what could only be the sounds of gunshots. 

He ducked down, body covering Henry’s as he slammed the door shut, adrenaline coursing through him as Shaan peeled away.

Alex sighed in relief as the house got farther and farther away and Henry was safe finally. 

He crawled over the man into the seat next to him. As he did, he sucked in a sharp breath at the sudden pain that coursed through him, a web of red from his side, spreading out to the ends of his body.

He collapsed into the seat and shifted his jacket to the side a little and saw just how wet his dark shirt was. 

“Fuck.” He whispered mostly to himself.

“You alright Alex?” Shaan asked, looking at him in the rearview mirror.

“Peachy.” He gritted out. “Just fucking drive.”

He held his hand tightly to his side as he turned his head towards Henry who was sleeping soundly next to him.

They couldn’t stop until Henry was somewhere safe, Alex was sure of that at least. Anything else could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooo that sweet sweet secret bullet wound just delicious ain't it?
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	24. bullet wound

Alex watched as Henry slowly stirred in the seat next to him. He had shifted so he was curled around his wound, hand pressed hard to his side, everything covered by his jacket.

“Alex?” Henry murmured, his eyebrows scrunched together in confusion that made Alex’s heart all a flutter. It could be the lack of blood, but he also knew he loved that look the most. It was the look Henry got when was focused on something and right now he was focused on him.

“We gotta stop meeting like this you know.” Alex said with a half smile. His head was leaned against the backrest.

“You were real?” Henry asked in a small voice. “That wasn’t me dreaming? Am I dreaming right now?”

“Nope. It’s me, in the flesh.” Alex laughed a little but the pain shot through him and he fought to keep the wince off his face. “Are you okay? You passed out back there and you look like you haven’t slept in days.”

“I feel like all I’ve been doing it sleeping.” Henry shifted so that he was turned toward Alex. “They kept drugging me and when I fought it, they forced me to drink it. I tried Alex, I really did.” 

“I know you did. You’re so brave.” He said softly and he started to reach out with his hand but the only hand that was free was stuck under his body and practically useless thanks to his bullet wound.

“No I’m not. If I was brave they wouldn’t have taken me in the first place.” Henry said bitterly, not looking at Alex. He wanted desperately to force Henry’s eyes up to his own but that would involve moving and moving would mean Henry would find out about his wound and he couldn’t have that. Not until they were somewhere safe. 

“They would have killed me. And then they would have taken you anyways.” 

That got Henry to look at him.

“You did the right thing. I’m just sorry that it happened at all. I should have been better.” 

Henry sighed and let his head lean back against the backrest just like Alex. “We can play the blame game all night I suppose but I’m just glad you found me and that you’re okay.”

Henry leaned over and planted a kiss on Alex’s lips. It wasn’t a deep one but it was passionate and he sighed into it. He felt Henry scooch closer to him and rest his hand on Alex’s hip only for Alex to jolt back with a hiss and Henry jerked back in surprise.

“Alex what’s wrong?”

Fuck he didn’t want Henry to know. “‘M fine.” He lied quickly. “Just a bruise that’s all.”

“You’re really pale.” Henry said slowly before his eyes travelled down to where Alex’s hand was hidden behind his jacket. “Alex. Take out your hand.” 

“No.” 

“Alex.” Henry warned. His eyes were still glassy but there was that firm voice again that did things to Alex that he hadn’t really had time to ruminate on until that voice was used on him. “Show me your hand.”

Alex was silent and still for a long time before he slowly took his hand that wasn’t against his side and shifted his jacket a little so Henry could see. Henry sucked in a breath.

“Alex.” Henry breathed, panic flashing through his eyes. Alex hadn’t wanted to look down at his wound but he knew it was bad. “Shaan Alex’s been shot.” 

“What?” Shaan’s gaze locked onto Alex in the mirror. “How bad?”

“His entire hand’s covered in blood.” Henry said in horror.

“Alex you stupid motherfucker.” Shaan seethed and Alex could feel the car picking up speed.

“M fine.” He said though now that he was paying attention to everything rather than pushing it down he was starting to get a little light headed. 

“No you’re not.” Henry said and his hand covered Alex’s to put more pressure on the wound. Alex let out a sound of pain, his body attempting to twist away but Henry was firm. 

He didn’t want to look at Henry’s face but it was like trying not to look at the moon on the water or a beautiful sunset. He would always be drawn to it like a magnet. What he saw there made his entire body ache with sadness at the concern Henry had for him.

Henry put his forehead to Alex’s. “This is like a really deadly game of tag you know that right? Guess it’s my turn to save you now.”

“I don’t like this game anymore. Can we stop?” Alex asked with a weak smile.

“Yeah let’s stop.” 

He felt the tears drip on his cheeks and it was only then that he wondered what he was going to do when he had to leave Henry, because he wasn’t sure there was a way out of this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when you finally write ahead instead of writing a chapter a day. i'm so dumb sometimes but OOF THIS CHAPTER THO (honestly wait for the next one it's even better if you're looking for that good good whump)
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	25. bleeding out

“Oh fuck Shaan he’s passed out.” Henry gasped when he felt Alex slump back and into the door behind him. 

“We’re nearly there Henry. Keep pressure on the wound okay?” Shaan said and Henry was almost a little in awe at the fact that Shaan’s voice was as steady as it always was. 

He did as he was told but there was so much blood. His hands were covered in it and so were Alex’s though Alex’s hands were useless now. 

Alex almost looked like he was sleeping and in the delirious way that his thoughts were working Henry wondered if that’s what it would look like if he woke up before him in their bed that they would share when this was all over. 

When.

Not if.

Henry had to stay positive, but it was getting harder as Henry felt the blood slowly seeping from Alex’s body. 

“Shaan.”

“I know.” 

“I can’t lose him Shaan.”

“_I know_.”

It felt like eons later when they squealed into the driveway and Shaan was coming around. He barely registered the fact that Amy was coming out to help. Shaan picked up Alex like a sack of potatoes that barely weighed anything and Henry hurried behind as quick as he could on wobbly feet that hadn’t walked in ages. 

Amy had already cleared off the kitchen table and put down a cloth. 

“What are you--”

“Henry I need you to get out of here alright? Amy’s medically trained, let her work.” Shaan blocked his way.

“No I’m not leaving--”

“Henry.” That demanding voice that Henry had only heard when Shaan was moving people out of Henry’s way. He had never heard it directed towards him. “Go take a shower alright? We have this handled.” 

“I-” He started and looked at how Amy was cutting Alex’s shirt open and how small Alex looked on the table. He always assumed Alex was much bigger than he was by just how he took up an entire room. Like the light gravitated towards him with his sparkling eyes and his large smile. Now he just looked like a normal human. He felt tears welling in his eyes once more. “Okay.”

He sobbed in the shower, sinking to the floor and curling up into a ball until the heat began to leak from the water and it was only when he was practically shivering that he finally got out. He wrapped himself in a towel and saw himself in the mirror for the first time in a while. His eyes had a haunted look that he didn’t even recognize and he had lost weight, his ribs starting to poke through. He supposed that was natural when you’ve been thrown into a high stress environment but it was shocking to see. 

Someone, Shaan most likely, had left clothes for him and he pulled them on. He almost didn’t want to walk into the kitchen but his need to see Alex got the better of him.

He tip toed into the room and found Alex on the table, IV of blood hanging from a coat rack next to him.

“He’ll be fine.” Shaan said, nearly making Henry jump out of his skin. “Amy got the bullet out and stitched him up. He lost a lot of blood and if we weren’t here sooner he might not have made it but he’ll be fine now.” Shaan explained and Henry nodded, biting his lip. “Are you alright?” He felt the weight of Shaan’s hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah I’m…” He started before his lip wobbled once and then the tears started flowing and he let out an unwanted sob. Instantly Shaan wrapped him up in a giant hug that he leaned into. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there but he felt bone tired when he pulled away. He wiped away his tears. “I’m sorry it’s just…”

Shaan nodded. “I know. Why don’t you rest? I’ll wake you up if anything changes alright?”

Suddenly all he wanted to do was collapse into bed so he nodded and did just that.

Despite barely being able to keep his eyes open it took him a while to get to sleep, thoughts about Alex swirling through his mind, the biggest one being how much better he would be able to sleep if Alex was here next to him.

He fell asleep with that thought on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't mind me just humming the imagine dragons song
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	26. nightmare

Henry dreamt of a world that he didn’t want.

He was back in the car with Alex, laughing and smiling and having a good time. 

A loud jolt and then glass shattering and them rolling and Henry was in the ditch again, legs becoming crushed by the dash, Alex attempting to keep the panic out of his voice.

He was back in the van, blindfold over his eyes, reaching with restrained hands for Alex’s warmth and finding nothing but cackling voices and loud laughter at his expense. 

He was staring at Alex as he licked an ice cream cone, rays of sunlight hitting his hair and Henry realized that he had bits of tawny hidden in his dark curls and then Alex was smiling at him and he forgot what the real sun looked like.

Alex’s face was twisted into horror and pain and panic and the sun behind him was gone, replaced by darkness and Henry let out a silent shout when Alex was ripped from his presence like he was falling back into a pit never to return.

He was back in the safehouse, Alex brushing back his hair and murmuring things to him while he lay on the bed. He was kissing Alex sweetly, then he was kissing nothing but cold air, eyes opening to an empty room.

He felt the jab of the knife go through his shoulder like a ghost pain. 

Didn’t people who lost limbs still feel them? He wondered if he lost something when the knife had been pulled from his body. His blind faith in the world perhaps?

His name whispered on Alex’s lips as they laughed together, hands somehow meeting even though they weren’t supposed to. It wasn’t professional right? Henry suddenly didn’t care as he stood in his office in Parliament, eating greasy fish and chips while Alex had a bit of ketchup on his cheek. He absently brushed it off, staring into Alex’s beautiful brown eyes and wondering if that’s all there was in this world. If so, he was more than happy to keep living in it.

Alex was gone and he was alone, staring at a head stone, wondering if he even deserved the chance to be here saying hello the first birthday Alex missed. He held flowers in his hand suddenly and was placing them on top of the white marble, gloved fingers brushing over Alex’s last name. A name he could have carried with him.

Henry suddenly jolted awake with a gasp and it took him a moment to even know if he was awake or still dreaming. The light from outside peeked through the crack in the curtain. It was daytime and he was in the house he had fallen asleep in.

He turned onto his back, only just now realizing his cheeks were wet. He brushed away the tears and took a moment to center himself. The nightmare had been like a whiplash for his mind. So many good things intermingled with the bad that it took him a while to process everything. 

Henry realized he was dreading going downstairs. 

Shaan had said that he would come get him if things went south with Alex and he hadn’t been woken up, only his mind doing that to him. That still didn’t mean he didn’t want to walk down those stairs to face Alex looking less than himself. 

He didn’t want to have that image burned into his mind forever. He didn’t want to look at Alex whenever he was recovered and see him at his lowest point when he was standing in front of him just as vibrant as ever. 

It felt wrong to see Alex like that.

Even when Alex had been tied to a chair, blood dripping from his lips and his face swollen from the amount of hits he had taken, he had still been wild and alive and ready to fight.

The Alex waiting him downstairs was none of those things and Henry squeezed his eyes shut as he felt hot tears start to well at the corners of his eyes once again. He rubbed them with the backs of his hands and let out a loud sigh. 

He was being selfish. 

Alex needed him and he wasn’t about to just leave him there alone. 

He would suck it up and be there for him no matter what.

Without another word he swung his legs over the side of the bed and got ready to face the world that somehow had allowed Alex Claremont-Diaz to get shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whaaaaaah HENRY NEEDS A MAJOR HUG
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	27. abandoned

He woke up with a gasp, eyes flying open and back arching. 

He let out a sound of pain at his side whining loudly in protest and his hand instantly went to his wound. He found a bandage there and he awkwardly attempted to look at it but the pain wouldn’t allow it. 

The kitchen table wasn’t the most comfortable, but he didn’t recognize this place. He didn’t know where he was and he felt panic course through him.

Where was Henry?

Was Henry okay?

Why was he in this unfamiliar place with no one around?

The panic continued to rise until he could only take in shallow breaths. He couldn’t even move properly, the wound on his side causing too much pain for him to even sit up without him hissing and falling back down.

Abandoned.

They had abandoned him.

It made sense in a weird sort of way. He was dead weight and they needed to get Henry somewhere safe. He understood that. 

It didn’t stop his panic attack from coming on though.

He hadn’t had a panic attack since leaving the FBI. A part of the reason he had started getting them was because of his lack of control. Someone had framed him for something he hadn’t done which forced their hand to kick him out. Even after everything settled.

Now it was starting again and he had held out on having a panic attack for a long time, preferring to focus on the fact that Henry wasn’t safe and Alex needed to keep him safe and protect him.

But Henry wasn’t here and he was alone and now all he could do was think about the horrible things that could have happened to the man he was pretty sure he loved. 

He tried to think about his calming techniques but everything was swirling around him. 

“Alex?” A voice called out and his head snapped towards the sound. It was like looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. An anchor to hold him to this Earth. He knew that voice but in his panic riddled mind he was sure it was an illusion. 

It was only when that voice came with a body and Henry was in front of him did he finally allow himself to agree that this voice wasn’t fake. It was real and Henry was safe and hadn’t left him.

“Alex what’s wrong?” There was panic in Henry’s voice now.

He couldn’t tell him what was wrong because he couldn’t get enough air. 

“Shaan!”

Shaan came into the room and he quickly came to Alex’s side. “Breathe with me Alex. In…..out…..in…..out.” 

Alex stared at Shaan, too mesmerized to look away and not follow his instructions. He could hear how ragged his breaths sounded, like he smoked 12 packs a day, but soon his breathing was under control and he let out grateful noise, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back onto the table. 

“Alex?” He felt Henry’s hand slip into his. “Are you okay now?”

He nodded but didn’t trust himself to speak quite yet. 

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Shaan said and Alex could hear his footsteps go. Henry pulled up a chair next to him and Alex opened his eyes and turned his head.

“I’m sorry.” He said in a hoarse voice.

“What do you have to be sorry about?”

“All of this. Getting you kidnapped and tortured and stabbed and...and…” He felt tears start to flow from his eyes and he looked up at the ceiling, his face scrunching up and his free hand went to his face, covering it. 

“It wasn’t your fault. I would have been dead so many times if you weren’t there to save me. It’s going to be okay now. Shaan and Amy have figured out a way to catch who’s behind it. We’re going to be safe now.” Henry murmured and kissed Alex’s hand softly, running his thumb over the knuckles. 

He finally turned toward Henry, knowing that his cheeks were still tear stained. “Are you okay? I woke up and everyone was gone and I thought I was alone.”

“I’m never going to leave you again you hear?” Henry said with a soft smile. “We don’t do well when we’re separated.” 

“That’s an understatement.” Alex quirked up a corner of his mouth. He took his hand out of Henry’s and reached out to stroke his cheek. Henry leaned into it as he closed his eyes for a moment before opening them slowly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Henry nodded. “I’m fine now that you’re awake. I thought I was going to lose you for sure you dumbass. Trying to keep a wound like that a secret.” He whacked Alex lightly on the shoulder before taking his hand again. 

“I know that was dumb of me.” He said with a laugh before wincing hard and sucking in a breath. 

Henry had a look of pain on his face. 

“It’s okay. I’ve been shot before. I’ll be fine in a few days. Or weeks.” He said with a sheepish smile.

Henry got out of his chair and Alex tracked him with his eyes as he leaned over to hover above Alex. He looked into Alex’s eyes before slowly lowering his face and kissing Alex. It was like a butterfly of a kiss, barely there but just enough that Alex relaxed into the touch. Henry leaned back and ran his hand through Alex’s hair. “You better recover soon because I’m going to need a lot more kisses.”

Alex laughed softly, wincing again before relaxing. “Aye aye captain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg guys only a few more chapters holy shit we're almost there FINALLY
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	28. separated

“Like hell I’m going to leave Alex.” Henry crossed his arms defiantly as he stared down Shaan, Amy, and now Rafael who had driven over. 

“We need to get Alex to an actual hospital.” Amy said in a steady tone.

“I think I’m fine here.” Alex said, waving from the couch. 

“Yeah what he said.” Henry said, jutting out his chin. 

“No Alex. We don’t have the equipment to keep you from infection.” Shaan said firmly.

“Excuse you, hospitals are riddled with infection. What makes you even think that place will be better than here?” Alex frowned as he narrowed his eyes. Henry gave them all an interested look to see if anyone would bother fighting him on that.

“If you get internal bleeding I can’t stop it. I may be training in patching bullet holes but I can’t deal with much more than that.” Amy said. “We’re too far away from a hospital to get you there quickly if something goes wrong.” 

“That sounds like a you problem.” Alex shot back quickly but Henry faltered. 

His arms fell from their cross position. “Do you really think he might have internal bleeding?”

“I can’t say. The wound’s healing nicely but that doesn’t mean something’s going wrong on the inside.” Amy was still as calm as ever while Henry was starting to get nervous.

He knelt down in front of Alex. “Maybe you should go to the hospital.” He said in a soft voice, ignoring the rest of the people in the room. 

“No. I’m not leaving you again.” Alex attempted to sit up and he winced hard before giving up the effort. Henry’s face turned concerned. 

“You need to go.” He said firmly and took Alex’s hand in his own. “This is almost over. I can feel it. I would never forgive myself if I was selfish in keeping you here with me and then you got worse.” He looked up at the rest of the people in the room. “They’re going to protect me.”

“Bad things happen when we’re apart.” Alex said insistently, squeezing Henry’s hand.

“That’s only when we don’t know where we are. I know exactly where you are and Rafael will keep in touch with Amy and Shaan.” Henry said, looking at the group pointedly.

Rafael nodded. “Alex would never shut up if I didn’t I can already tell.”

“That’s fucking right.” Alex glared at his former mentor. He looked back at Henry who kept holding his hand and then kissed the palm of it. “This feels like the end of Pocahontas.” He said with a slight smirk.

“Are you really comparing yourself to a Disney movie right now?” Henry snorted. “Okay John Smith.”

“Just put me in a rowboat I guess.” Alex pouted, not looking away from Henry. 

“It’ll be fine. We’re going to be fine.” Henry murmured as he put his forehead against Alex’s.

“Aren’t I supposed to be the one saying that?”

“You’re the one that’s wounded this time, so I get to say it.” Henry said with a wry smile and Alex laughed before wincing again. “See? You need painkillers at the very least.” 

“Alright fine. If only for the good morphine.” Alex said with a soft smile. He brushed his hand through Henry’s hair before sighing. “Better help me into the car then.”

With the help of all four of them, they managed to get Alex in the car with the seat reclined back. Alex was breathing hard by the end of it and Henry felt a jolt of pain and sympathy for Alex. 

He stood there with the door open, running his hand through Alex’s hair. “I’m going to be alright. I just need you to get better okay?”

Alex nodded as he leaned into the touch before he looked up into Henry’s eyes. “I’m afraid.” Alex said softly, so soft that only Henry could have heard it. “What if something bad happens to you and I’m not there?”

Henry leaned over and kissed Alex none too carefully. Alex let out a surprised sound before leaning into the kiss. When he pulled back both of them were breathless. “When I see you again I’m going to kiss you so much that you’re going to be begging me to stop.” 

“I highly doubt those words would ever come out of my mouth.” Alex grinned, his mouth cherry red from the kiss. 

Rafael stepped forward and got into the car. 

“Bye Alex.” Henry said, kissing him one last time and hovering over his face for a moment before stepping back.

“Bye Henry.” Alex said and Henry shut the door.

He watched until the car turned the corner and then Alex was gone and it took everything in him not to cry. He knew Alex needed to go to the hospital to get everything checked out but he hadn’t realized how hard it would be to be separated from him after just getting him back. 

He finally turned and went inside once Amy touched his shoulder but that didn’t mean his heart didn’t leave with Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know I had to do 'em. Only three more chapters though!!!! 
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	29. numb

_“Henry Fox has been found. Reports are coming in that he had been kidnapped and held hostage for several months by a group of neo-Nazi led by the head of the British police force in London. He has been taken into custody for questioning by Interpol.”_

The TV droned on in front of Henry but he could feel nothing. He could hardly focus on it as he sat in his London flat.

“H? You alright? Not cold are you?”

He felt the sofa sag a little under him as Bea sat down next to him. He felt her arm around his shoulder in the dim sort of way when you know something’s against your body when your arm falls asleep but you can’t quite feel it.

“Hen?” 

“Hm? Oh yeah. I’m fine.” He said, jolting out his trance.

The look on Bea’s face was thinly veiled sympathy and if it were anyone but here he would have thrown something in their face to knock it off. He had gotten a lot of those looks over the past week.

Amy and Shaan along with Rafael’s resources had finally managed to nail down Richards. The fact that he still had a bruise from where Alex had socked him helped their cause. The emails and the paper trail were more than damning though and Henry finally felt like he could somewhat relax. 

He still felt like he was on edge though. 

Being back in his flat felt like he was waking up from a dream he didn’t know he was having. Everyone was expecting him to go back to normal but what was normal when now you knew how dangerous and cruel the world was?

Alex was still in the hospital. Henry hadn’t gotten to go see him yet purely for the fact that every time he stepped out his front door he was bombarded with reporters and people wanting to take his picture. He had been used to before, but now it was like wading through a circus and he didn’t have the energy to handle it.

The police reports and interviews had been staggering. Bringing up everything he had shoved down and had refused to shine the light on but now he had to because without his testimony nothing would be done and he and Alex would never be safe. 

All of that was done though and he was left alone. Bea came to check up on him often, practically moving into his flat with him and he hadn’t minded it. He really just wanted Alex by his side though. 

“Do you need anything?” Bea asked softly, interrupting his thoughts.

“No. I’m fine.” He said, giving her a weak smile.

“We were all terrified that you were dead.” Bea said after a long pause. They hadn’t really discussed this yet, preferring to avoid the conversation. 

“I’m sorry.” He said softly, not making eye contact.

Bea made a soft sound before she wrapped her arms around him and leaned against him. “It’s not your fault, I’m just glad you’re back home, safe and sound.”

Henry knew he should be hugging her back and he did a bit though nothing like his old hugs where he would wrap her up and always make jokes about how small she was. 

Instead he barely held her and he floated through the rooms like a ghost, like he wasn’t supposed to be living this life.

He knew Bea loved him, but she didn’t understand what he had gone through. He hadn’t told her the sordid details but that didn’t mean she didn’t hear about them on the news. The news outlets were only given the barest of details, nothing about how he had gotten stabbed or nearly beaten to death. He didn’t want his sister to know about those things because he knew that she would look at him differently and he couldn’t bear that to happen. 

So instead he put on as good of show as he could for her, pretending like everything was mostly fine but he was tired and he missed Alex.

Only Alex knew what he had gone through and he desperately needed someone to hold and cry to and know that he wouldn’t be looked down upon or held like a piece of porcelain

“I think I’m going to go to bed.” He said, rising from the couch.

Bea turned to watch him go. “Alright. Sleep well.”

As he got ready for bed, he managed to catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He hardly recognized the person looking back at him. His eyes were hollow and his cheekbones were more prominent on his face. 

It was like looking at the face of a stranger yet also knowing that stranger was you. 

He avoided the mirror at all costs nowadays.

As he lay in bed, wondering if tonight would be the night that he didn’t wake up with nightmares, he thought of Alex and how he wished he was there to hold him when he woke up sweating or gasping.

Alex would protect him, even from unseen things. 

He knew that for a fact.

He finally closed his eyes and he prayed that he would dream of Alex.

Maybe in his dreams he would get to hold the man he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we've come a long way fam. two more two go rip
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	30. embrace

Finally Alex had been cleared for discharge. He supposed he should be grateful to Amy, Shaan, and Raphael for forcing him to go to the hospital. Amy had done her best to stitch him up and she had done a great job of it, but there had been internal bleeding and if he hadn’t been forced into it, he could have died. 

Not that he was going to admit that of course. 

He may be grateful but that didn’t mean he lost his pride. Instead he had send a thumbs up emoji to all three of them in true Alex fashion. 

Never show how weak you are. Not even to the people you trust the most.

He had watched the news unfold about Henry from his hospital bed, staying awake as long as he could before the morphine took him under. The nurses quickly learned to keep the TV on for him otherwise he would yell at them to turn it back on. 

It was the only way he could see Henry after all, even if it was just pictures of him. 

He understood why he couldn’t come to see Alex. There was too much danger and too many reporters that could tail him. The inside of the hospital might be a safe haven, but the outside was free game. 

Alex knew that Henry would have tried to fight against it but like all things with security, he would lose. Even if Alex wanted him to win just this once.

The week in the hospital felt like torture, even with Henry’s texts that made him laugh and made it seem not all that bad. 

By the end of his stay he was going stir crazy and wanted desperately to get out and see something other than the TV screen and the view of the parking garage out his window. 

Rafael had been waiting for him once he got wheeled out in his wheelchair, something he had always thought of as pointless but this time he actually needed it. Walking was still a challenge, his side constantly pulling at him and making it painful and uncomfortable as he hobbled into the front seat. 

“Are you taking me to Henry’s?” He asked as he put on his seatbelt with some difficulty. Rafael eventually had to reach over to buckle it for him.

“No thank you for coming to get me Rafael?” The man smirked.

“Thank you for coming to get me Rafael. Are you taking me to Henry’s?” He repeated the question.

“I’d thought we’d drive around for a little bit and just see the sights of London. It’s been a while since I’ve done that.” Rafael mused and Alex narrowed his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but Rafael started first. “Relax, of course I’m taking you to Henry’s. We managed to get the reporters away from the place for the moment. They think he’s in St. James’s park.”

Alex let out a sigh of relief as he slumped in his seat a little, angling his body so that his hurt side wasn’t leaning against anything. He couldn’t stop the wince but at least it wasn’t too painful. At least in relative terms compared to the past few months. Pulling at his stitches a bit was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

The ride felt like eons. He hardly was able to focus on anything when he looked out the window, mostly lost in his thoughts. He wondered if Henry had changed at all but he knew that was a stupid thought. It had only been a week but it was practically a lifetime. 

He couldn’t admit to himself how nervous he had been being separated from the man. Most of his thoughts were spent on Henry of course. Both the good and the bad and the nightmares that had woken him up several times in that sterile hospital room with no sense of comfort whatsoever. 

Alex eventually squeezed his eyes shut, leaning his head back against the headrest and tried to let his mind go blank but every time it always drifted to blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, lopsided smiles, charming laughs. It was like his entire world had been consumed by Henry and though if his past self looked into his mind and would have balked at the truth there, he didn’t care. 

You didn’t go through what he had with Henry without becoming changed.

“We’re here.” Rafael interrupted his thoughts and his eyes instantly flew open. It was exactly the same and entirely different. 

The facade on the flat hadn’t changed but the context had shifted on its axis. 

Instead of going into the house as a bodyguard, he was entering as a friend. A lover perhaps. 

“Can you help me up?” He asked softly and Rafael nodded, coming around the side of the car and helping Alex slowly out of his seat. He hissed a little when his side protested but soon he was upright and walking slowly into Henry’s flat. 

“Henry?” Rafael called out. 

“I’m in here.” The voice that Alex had been slightly afraid that he would never hear again called from the living room. It sounded hollow and distant but still very much Henry. 

Alex nodded to Rafael who helped him walk into the room where Henry had his back to the hallway. He let go of Rafael and walked the rest of the way on his own, hobbling a bit but still proud and strong.

“Hey.” He said and Henry’s head instantly whipped around. He could see the dark circles under Henry’s eyes and the dull sheen to those blue irises but still Henry. 

“Alex.” Henry breathed out and Alex had never heard his name sound so sweet. He wanted Henry to say it always. 

“Long time no see huh?” He said with a cock of his head and a smirk playing at his lips.

Henry said nothing but practically jumped off the couch and wrapped him up in a giant hug. 

“Ow, ow watch the stitches.” Alex hissed and Henry loosed his grip.

“Sorry.” Henry’s voice was wavering and Alex brushed back some of the blonde hair that had fallen into Henry’s face.

“You need a haircut.” He murmured and he could see the tears welling in Henry’s eyes. 

Henry let out a watery laugh. “So do you.” 

“If only there had been barbers on the run huh?” He said, his smile widening. 

“I’m positive I could have managed it if you had let me anywhere near your hair with scissors.” Henry said in that same soft voice. 

“Nah, don’t trust your judgement.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Make me.” Alex grinned wildly and Henry did of course.

He leaned into the kiss that Henry planted on his lips, his hands reaching up to run their way through Henry’s hair, twisting around the too long of locks. 

He wasn’t sure how long they had stood their kissing but it was long enough for Rafael to disappear and for him to become a bit woozy from standing.

“I think I need to sit. This is the most upright I’ve been all week.” He said against Henry’s lips. 

Henry of course pulled back and helped Alex to the couch. 

In a brief sort of way he remembered the last time he had sat on this couch. He and Henry had been at opposite ends but now they were flush together, Henry lacing their fingers together. 

“Can you not be my bodyguard anymore?” Henry asked, looking shyly at Alex.

“You firing me Fox?” He asked with an arch of his eyebrow.

“Yes.”

“Do I get to know the reason why?”

“Isn’t there a rule that you’re not supposed to be dating your job?”

“Oh are we dating now?”

Henry leaned in close and kissed him long and soft with heat that burned deep in his chest. He pulled back once more. “Yes.”

He smiled wildly and pressed their foreheads together. He cupped Henry’s jaw. “About damn time.”

Henry laughed and kissed him again and Alex thought to himself that he could easily do this for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOOKIN FINALLY THEY GET TO BE HAPPY YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS HAS TAKEN OUT OF ME HOLY SHIT
> 
> one more chapter y'all. we out of the woods now
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	31. recovery

It hadn’t been easy getting back into the rhythm of things. 

There had been setbacks of course. 

Sometimes Alex saw a shadow on the wall in front of him and his hand went to where his gun used to be only for it to be gone and for the shadow to be a stray cat and Alex being left shaky and hollow. 

He knew the signs.

They had practically drilled it into his head when he was at the FBI Academy. PTSD could come for you at any time for any sort of traumatic thing and he and Henry had enough trauma between them to last a lifetime. 

It had been odd going out into public after the trial. Richards had been sentenced to life along with several of his other accomplices, some of the voices Alex recognized and Henry too judging by the way he straightened as soon as the men spoke. 

He had held Henry’s hand during that of course. 

Henry had to hold his own hand during physical therapy. The bullet wound had been more serious than he wanted to admit and his entire side was left weaker than the other. He hated the therapy, gritting through the pain and the way his body liked to fail him. 

He had cried in Henry’s arms more times than he cared to admit but Henry always helped him get back up.

Alex moved into Henry’s flat, not caring what the public thought.

Henry had gone back to this job, though he sometimes flinched at the sound of the gavel, Alex had seen it. Henry jumped at a lot of loud noises now and Alex tried to make sure to keep the noises he made to a minimum. 

“You know you don’t have to tiptoe around me right?” Henry had said one day when they were on the couch, Henry’s head in his lap and his fingers through the blonde hair that was much shorter now. 

“I know, I just don’t want to scare you.” He murmured back, letting his nails lightly scratch Henry’s scalp in a soothing motion.

“I can’t assume that life isn’t going to make things easier for me. You shouldn’t either.” Henry said, sitting up and facing Alex.

“If I can make at least one thing easier for you, I’m going to.”

Henry took his hand, looking down as he ran his fingers over the many scars along the fine bones there. “I know I can’t convince you.” Henry said with a little half smile. “I know I can’t ever make up for what you’ve done for me.”

Alex’s face softened. He took his free hand and cupped Henry’s cheek. “It’s not a competition you know.”

“I’m surprised. You make everything a competition.” Henry said with a wry look.

“I’m just high spirited.” Alex said, his own mouth twisting into a smirk. “I thought you liked that.”

Henry scooted a little closer. “Oh you know I do.” 

Alex’s smirk widened as he leaned in a little, his hand still against Henry’s cheek as he brought the man’s lips to his own. It wasn’t a particularly passionate or dangerous kiss, more of a ‘oh yes there you are, don’t forget me’ sort of kiss. 

When he leaned back Henry’s eyes were still closed before slowly opening. A soft smile and a soft laugh. 

Henry shifted so he was leaning against Alex, making sure first that Alex’s side would protest the sudden weight. Alex felt his heart beat a little bit harder at the concerned look Henry gave him over his shoulder as he shook his head, a nonverbal sign that he was fine. Henry settled against him and grabbed Alex’s arms to wrap around him as he leaned his head back. 

“Do you ever think about the fact that if all of this hadn’t happened, we may not have ever gotten to this point?” Henry asked after they watched the TV for a while. 

Alex hummed for a moment. “Are you saying that you wouldn’t have wanted to kiss me if it wasn’t for the fact that I saved your life many times over?”

Henry leaned back to look at Alex upside down, a small, mischievous look on his face. He looked straight ahead again. “Well I mean I’m pretty sure I wanted to kiss you from the moment I saw you but I knew you had a job to do and I wasn’t about to be that person that fell in love with their bodyguard.” 

Alex squeezed Henry a little tighter. “Why not baby? Didn’t want to be a walking cliche?” He said, sarcasm melting into his voice. 

Henry chuckled and Alex liked the way it felt against his chest. 

“I’m pretty sure I liked you as soon as you gave me that once over and didn’t say a word other than a quick introduction and then you went back to work.” Alex mused and this time Henry actually laughed. 

“Is your kink people who work?”

“That a problem?” Alex smirked as Henry twisted in his arms so that they were mostly face to face. 

Henry shifted up so that he could look into Alex’s eyes. “Not a problem at all. Good thing my kink is people that like to save people.” 

Alex knew that Henry meant it as something more passionate, a prelude to them ignoring the TV and making out on the couch like they had done practically every night after they finally were able to breathe a little easier. Alex knew it would be easy to fall into that but instead he kept the conversation going. 

“I’ll always be around to save you. As long as you save me too.” He murmured, voice quieting as he looked into Henry’s blue blue eyes. 

“Always.” Henry’s face softened and they kissed each other.

Alex knew he and Henry had a long way to go to recovery. 

There would be nights where Henry would wake Alex up with screams and would push him away until he woke up to realize that Alex wasn’t there to hurt him.

There would be days that Alex couldn’t get out of bed, fear practically choking him as his mind kept running through the worst case scenarios. 

There would be times when both of them would need to cling to each other desperately, but Alex was ready for it. 

Only Henry knew what they had gone through together and Alex was grateful for him. 

“You know, a very very small part of me is grateful that we had to endure all of that together. If it had to happen, I’m glad it was you.” Henry murmured against his skin.

Alex wrapped an arm around him. “Yeah, me too.”

They would figure their new place in the world, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowowowow when I first started this challenge I honestly wasn't even sure if I could manage to post 31 chapters of something. I assumed that it would be 500 words for each chapter but it somehow exploded into nearly 27k of angst and fluff and everything in between. Thank you for reading and commenting and leaving kudos. It definitely helped me keep going on this rather insane quest. I know I beat these boys up a lot but don't worry, in my mind they're much happier and surviving and thriving. I hope you enjoyed the ride as much as I did writing it!
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> (also wtf do I even write next?????)


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